The Kübler-Ross Model

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to love makes one solitary

i.
It’s three thirty in the morning and he isn’t
listening to you, he isn’t -
saying anything, closed eyes and still hands.
When he does, finally, the words
fall like loose change between the floorboards
(this can’t have happened)
but you’re not lying, even though you wish you were.

ii.
Under his shirt there are bruises blooming,
like love, like wildflowers over his skin,
and it’s three thirty, shadows bleed from the cracks
he put, yesterday, in the walls
(he doesn’t want to talk about it)
and water spilt like regrets over the floor.

iii.
He clings onto you like a man drowning,
like he’s forgotten how to do anything else.
And the clock’s ticking,
and it’s three thirty in the morning, you’re awake,
but he’s sleeping and maybe that’s enough.
(you lie to him; say it’s okay, but he shivers,
trembles as your hand brushes through his hair)

iv.
And it’s been days and he still hasn’t said a word,
and at three thirty he’s wandering between the shelves,
paper thin and translucent under the kitchen
lights. The faucet turns and he watches the water run,
says he remembers days spent at the shore, the kiss of a
wave, the smile of the foam.
Then it’s just silence, and water dripping through the spaces
of his hands. (You said it’d get better,
he accuses, and you say—nothing. Some lies only work once.)

v.
You watch him from the window,
three thirty when all is quiet but for the clock, which ticks and
tocks the passing minutes, the unravelling seconds.
Three thirty and it’s raining outside, flashes of lights
and dripping water.
(he takes your hand, and
through a veil of night his eyes glitter like stars; he says,
let’s go home).

vi.
(This is what love has made him.)

____________
The Kübler-Ross Model is also known as the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Last edited by Jagged on Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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'ello, Jagged. Tassen Spellbinder here to nit-pick at your poem.
And what an interesting poem it is. First, I think you might want to point out what the The Kübler-Ross Model is. Once that is explained, everything really falls into place.

As each of the first five stanzas seem to be exemplifying that particular stage of grief, I think there's nothing I can rightfully say about the style. The only thing I will say is that I think you should strive to keep the stanza and line lengths equal, especially with the parenthetical lines. Some of them are one line, some are two, and some are three- this breaks the structure somewhat.

I really like the concept behind this poem, and I think you used the repetition of time magnificently. Keep writing, I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. - George Orwell, 1984

Where in the world is Enoch Root?



You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan