Dirty Fashion

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This is for a good friend of mine who asked me to write this. I hope you enjoy it.


I am what you want to be
Looking sharp is so sexy to me.

Black shades hide my empty eyes.
I dress up in your filthy lies.

I crave the look, the naked stares.
You strip me down till I’m not there.

The runway is all thats clear.
Rather walk that shit than be right here.

Living Plastic is my passion.
I just want your dirty fashion!
Last edited by MattJF on Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:25 pm, edited 4 times in total.




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You made me smile... I like the musical rhyme to this. I defently liked this poem too.
Meh, I got no real review. Sorry for being lazy.

Good luck. Keep writing.
Silented1
[quote]If it's arguable, then it probably is." - Xeriana X

Link to my will review for food thread: topic71713.html




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David Bowie and Prince, (who are two of my ultimate idols) wrote about fashion and so I thought it was about time I picked up my pen and did the same thing. To me fashion is an art form, a unique way to express your own individuality. In this I incorporate my love of fashion with themes of vanity and deceit. I hope you enjoy it and if you read it please leave your comments I would be grateful!




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This was cute, it made me laugh. Good work. This was short but a fun read, especially me with my super short attention span. My only issue was that you mentioned your empty eyes, but didn't elaborate. Juice it up!

You have lots of talent! Great work, keep it up.

--Dreamy :mrgreen:
Honey, you should see me in a crown.




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I love this! It's so original! It makes me smile, haha.

I wouldn't say "living Plastic" Some people probably won't know what that is. I mean, it's a cool line and all, but if I hadn't seen that movie, I would not know what you were talking about.

I liked it so much, I am going to 'like' it.

Keep writing!

Classy




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It was good! Although, the "all" doesn't fit for the first word in the poem...or lyrics! You asked for lyric help? I think that's amazing that you're going into lyrics. It's very cool.Anyway, here we go. See, the best way I can help you is by figuring out the meaning behind your poem: check. Then, writing out almost the same words so you can compare them and maybe use some of mine to go in with your lines.
"I am what you want me to be
Looking sharp is so sexy to me.

Black shades hide my empty eyes.
You dress me up in your filthy lies.

I crave that look, the naked stares.
But you strip me down till I’m not there.

The runway is all that's clear.
Rather walk that shit than be right here.

Living Plastic is my passion.
I just want your dirty fashion!"
I really loved this, and it does have great meaning to it, so I wouldn't make big changes. I liked the whole idea to it and i realized that the title did work very good with the post because each verse(or stanza) had something "dirty" about it. Like, "sexy", "filthy", you know? It was overall awesome and meaningful. Nice job, Matt! :D ~Skyy.
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
Come sail the stars with me
Through the sky not through the sea
Come sail the stars with me
Take me hand and make believe
~JT Lloyd




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This is very David Bowie like, which is why I enjoy this so much. It makes me chuckle and smile. The last line especially was good. There is a bit of a dirty feel to this, but also the sense that the narrator loves the feeling of being dirty. It was overall, well done-- especially for such a short piece. I must ask though, was Bowie your inspiration? That guy is my idol.




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David Bowie is my ultimate idol. I love the song fashion. You've hit the nail on the head. Its based on previous relationship of mine where I knew that my girlfriend was so manipulative and nasty, but I thought I needed to be in this relationship so I pretended I was blind. I was also self obsessed for a while, and very vain. I also love the way fashion feels on you as well. Looking and feeling good to me go hand in hand, but looking good and knowing someone thinks you look good turns me on. Which is how I got the line "I crave the look the naked stares". I also looked at models wearing avant garde fashion as well to inspire me. Thank you for your reviews you have helped me so much guys thank you!




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To all my readers. Thankyou for reading this, your feedback means the world to me, you have no idea. But if you like my poem can you "like" it. You don't have to, but if you genuinly like it then please do! It would be fantastic Thankyou.
Matt




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In response to the previouse comment. Your right there is something about looking good, well thinking you look good that really gives me this feeling , like when you see someone you like looking you over, its completely physical relationship and there is no love involved, except the desire to be loved. But the feeling is like a rush, that is what I mean when you see the writer likes feeling dirty.
thanks for your comment.



'They are afraid of nothing,' I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. 'Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.'
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights