Dare or Dream?

Dare or Dream?

Shouldn’t a man
Dare to dream
Dream to dare
To do the craziest things?

Shouldn’t a man
Be afraid
Of telling the one he really adores
That he adores her?

To tell her that
She is the most beautiful
That every time he sees her
It lights up his world

To tell her that
Her beautiful voice
Picks him up
And knocks him off his feet

Shouldn’t a man
Be afraid
To jump off the edge
And try to fly?

He looks over the edge
And questions himself
Will I dare to dream
Or dream to dare?

He will jump off the edge
Into the abyss
Into the darkness
Into the unknown

He won’t be afraid
His heart whispers to him
Tells him to fly
Tells him to try

He knows he will be OK
Its all up to fate
He did more than dare
And more than dream

He will do the craziest thing
Follow his heart
Spill it all to her
And fly!

Okay okay... it was pretty good. (just so you know, I write like I talk so yeah...). I thought it was good but I felt like you could have done more with it. I don't know how to explain it, like I get what you're trying to say but I just don't know how I can tell you to make it better. It's really hard to explain it. Hopefully someone else knows what I'm talking about and can tell you better.

I guess I could tell you a few things.

Though a poem doesn't have to rhyme it does sound nice. It helps create a rhythm to keep the reader interested. Though not all readers prefer, or need rhyme to help them read. I'm one of those guys who love to listen to spoken word or rap, mostly 90's and older type, and rhythm is key in keeping the listener interested. You could say the same for reading poems. But it doesn't have to rhyme if you don't want it to.

It seemed like you started out saying "Why not dare? Why not dream?" and then you were like, "Why should you?". I guess I got a little confused on what you were trying to say.

While reading this, since I read "dare" quite a few times, I kept thinking of this one quote by someone I forgot but it was, "Do I dare disturb the universe?" Sorry it just kept coming back to me.

Still a little rough, needs some work, but it can be a really good poem if you just work at it a little more. Keep writing!

This was pretty good!

I understand what Kaiden was saying, there just seems to be something missing. I think it might be partly to do with the fact that your poem is a bit cliche. Being cliche is fine, as long as you make it original. I must say though, I think that you've haven't done too badly when it comes to this actually.
I also agree with Kaiden that you've used the word dare a bit to much. I get the point that the poem is called "Dream or Dare?", but that doesn't mean that you have to use the words dream and dare so often!

He will jump off the edge
Into the abyss
Into the darkness
Into the unknown

This was my favourite stanza! I really like your use of repetition. Lots of people will probably disagree with me on this, but everyone's entitled to their own opinion I suppose

He will do the craziest thing
Follow his heart
Spill it all to her
And fly!

This stanza isn't terrible, I just think that you need a stronger last stanza. Also, the line Follow his heart always go through me. It's just so soppy. That's just me though.

As for the rhythm of your poem, I quite like it. There aren't any obvious, out of place lines, so well done for that! Also, when it comes to rhyming, you don't need to use it at all! If you can't rhyme that well, then don't feel like you have to. Don't rhyme just because you know two words that rhyme! One of my friends had to write a poem for a Welsh lesson in school. It went something like,
Mae gen i ci o'r enw Sam. Mae e'n edrych fel fy mam.
Now, in English, that says,
I have a dog called Sam. He looks like my mum.
You get my point.

Overall, your poem is pretty good! All it really needs is to be polished up a bit. Make it a bit more original, and you could have a really good poem!

Keep writing,
xoxo Skins

Thanks so much! All that advice really helps and I really appreciate it!