Chris

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1329
Reviews 4
I look at you,
I long for you.
For us to be together,
For me to be wrapped up,
In your securing arms.
For your love,
To fill my heart.
For you to hold me tight.
To smell your sweet smell.
To hold onto my heaven
And never let it go.
To be so close to it
It won't float away.
To see the gates
Open wide.
To hear your cherry
Laugh once again.
To be with you forever.
So you know how to be
Loved by me.
What it feel like,
To be with me,
To feel loved,
To BE loved.
~hidden~




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 5635
Reviews 38
To be honest I was not expecting this. Your speaking from the heart. Which I can feel. I'm assuming that you are the girl in this poem and Chris is the guy you long for. This is very sweet but edgy as well. It sounds like the narrator is so in love with Chris. You have really bared your soul. It is so different from the first poem, I love it. My favourite line of the poem is:

hidden wrote:
To hear your cherry
Laugh once again.


I knew you were talented :P Keep on writing like this and you will go far. Your so honest and also I can relate to the poem. You can really feel the main characters heartbreak. Sad but powerful. Keep it up! I can't really criticise this at all. I hope my comments helped you out.

:elephant:



Don't sit down and write because you're a writer; sit down and write because you have something to say. And if the sea of ideas isn't flowing, well, just tell me about your day.
— OrabellaAvenue