Self-Immolation

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Self-Immolation
for those who gave their lives in antiwar protests

I wonder if I could ever
feel so strongly about a cause
that I would be willing to
set myself on fire for it.

I wonder if I could be as brave
as Roger LaPorte,
who calmly sat in front of the
United Nations building,
doused himself in
a gallon of gasoline,
and set himself aflame.
The New York Times says that
he was conscious in the ambulance,
and that he was calm as he explained,
"I am against wars, all wars.
I did this as a religious action."

I just can't imagine the
intense pain that comes with
performing a Human Torch trick.
Witnesses said that they
heard a whoosh,
followed by a scream,
and then silence.
What it must feel like
to have the flames
sear your skin,
the smell of scorched flesh
reaching your nostrils,
and knowing full well
that it is your flesh you smell.
What it must feel like
to have the outer flames extinguished,
yet still feel the smoldering underflesh
burn you until

you die.




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Gender Male
Points 625
Reviews 286
I think you did a bit of telling us, more so than showing us.
the smell of scorched flesh
reaching your nostrils,
and knowing full well
that it is your flesh you smell.
What it must feel like
to have the outer flames extinguished,
yet still feel the smoldering underflesh
burn you until

you die
This seems, to me, like the only part that you showed us rather than telling us. And your first stanaza was nice too.
But most of this was just on that part of him setting himself a flame and it didn't exactly move, as well as it could have. Maybe to an exploration of what it would be like to take such drastic measures? And then "wake up" and realise that it's not so. Or something along those lines.

That's all I got. Good job.
Good luck, keep writing.

Silented1.
[quote]If it's arguable, then it probably is." - Xeriana X

Link to my will review for food thread: topic71713.html



If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.
— W. Edwards Deming