Untitled

Ok, this is my first atempt at poetry, so help, poke and dismantle, if you wish.
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I listen to the wind at night,
Wondering how it would be to be a kite,
To fly so freely without a care,
To go where others do not dare,
But no, I lay here,
Dreading the morning,
'Cos in the morning I shall be in mourning.

An interesting thing the death of a loved one,
One day they're there, the next they're gone,
The feelings inside me weigh a ton,
As I lay here wondering,
What is it like to be a kite?,
To fly freely on the wind at night,
To see faces that will never be seen,
And drift into kitchens, all so clean,
Not to have a care in the world.

I wonder, as I lay, how it is to be truely free,
To live life in peretual glee,
Never to feel sadness and woe,
And go to places that no-one can go,
But no, I lay here dreading the morn',
So I have to begin to mourn.
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I knocked up this little poem while sitting at the back of the bus! It's not that good, but by all means, CRITISIZE!

You wrote not that well but good then me as if you have words and i have only feelings which want words. I learnt something and i hope it will give me benefit.

You have to write in small lines don't disturb the flow of writing with unplanned lines.

if u have any problem with my words please don't hesitate to write me I love to read.

Thank you
Suraj

Dear skutter11,
I love how you reapet that one phrase! Also, you should call this poem "To Be A Kite"

I dunno. I think that might be a good idea...