Falling Angel

I see many things from heaven

I see your face from God

I wanna hold you in my arms

I wanna hold you in my heart


Oh can you see my happiness?

Can you see the angel?

Can you see the falling angel from above?


The falling angel is coming to grant your wish

The wish of love, the wish of god..

What is the wish that you want to grant?

What the ultimate thing you want to be with?

You say 'the girl I love'

'The girl I want..'

And that is ohhh

that is the falling angel of love

which ohhh

which is me

I am oh i am the falling angel

Hey there! First off, I think this song is a little bit redundant. You say falling angel or angel a lot, and even though it's the point of the song, being a bit more subtle would make it that much more intriguing.

It would also make it a more easier read if you distinguished between the verse, chorus and bridge.

The wish of love, the wish of god..

What is the wish that you want to grant?

What the ultimate thing you want to be with?

^It would be a lot more fluent if you rhymed something with God here.^

Keep working on it and it could be a really cool song!

Keep writing, Chrissie.

thank you for giving me advice. I knew there was something wrong with it. I just didn't know what. So thanks.

I took a poetry writing workshop last semester and the only information I walked away with was that poetry is the anarcy of the writing world. So it's hard for me to critique poetry because there's really no wrong way to do it...
But I can suggest that you can develop it a little more. Maybe it's just my personal style but it seemed like you could definitely do more with it. Also, watch for awkward flow. That last stanza was admittledly a little awkward. "That is the falling angel of love, ohhh which, which is me" doesn't flow like it should.
However, you have something. You've presented a fallen angel in a completely different light which is refreshing and unique. I love being surprised like that. You have the ability to make it fit.

I thing you need to bring out this poem a lot more. it doesn't flow really at all. This is a start, and I think you should read throught the Lyrics for flowing language. I didn't really like it because you need to do a lot of work on it. Also, I couldn't really hear the melody in my mind. P.M. me when it's done, because I think this could turn into a great song.
Wishing you the best,
TTT