Dead Season

Needs some work on the flow I think.
.
Dead Season
~
Evening air pulses around me
Lost amongst the corrugated furrows
Of hunchbacked feilds, rolling,
Petrified mid-flow
~
The sun beds down beneath
Layers of threadbare clouds
Dancing faint light upon tall frames of corn
Gaunt heads bowed – solemn
Like starving monks in prayer
~
Single file, the trees idle and whisper
Caught in gridlock across the pasture
They entwine gnarly fingers
Grasping in a bony death grip
As bronzed leaves tumble
Flickering like falling flames
~
The earth is comatose
Preparing for winter,
The creeping chill as night descends
And the stars gleam forebodingly
Jack’ O lanterns in the marshy blackness
Of fading monochrome sky
~
To the east, city lights prowl on the horizon
Hungry and lupine-eyed

Heya,

The imagery is clear and easy to picture. I do not think that the flow is lacking although punctuation would help with where you are beginning and ending your concepts.

As bronzed leaves tumble
Flickering like falling flames

I do love the way you capture this moment with such a contrast.

This poem to me is very much screen captures of consciousness, I Love it.

Thanks.

OK, just a few things to criticise. First of all...

The sun beds down beneath

I don't exactly understand what you are trying to say here. what do you mean by "the sun beds"? Also, you shouldn't use both "down" and "beneath" for they both mean pretty much the same thing in this context.
Now, i have just one more suggestion. when you say...

Skinny heads bowed – solemn

I don't think this sentence was worded very well. Maybe instead you could say something like "Skinny heads bow solemnly". Adding the "ed" to "bowed" wasn't necessary and neither was the dash between bowed and solemn. Lastly, i think you should just clean up around a few of the other sentences by fixing some of the grammar. Try to find the best words you can possibly use to describe what you are trying to say. Using a thesaurus would work tremendously!

Personally, I have no critiques on this poem--amazing. Your wording is great and left a dramatic image in my mind. Like I said, I have no complaints--keep writing.

Great imagery!
"Feilds" should be spelled "fields" and maybe instead of "skinny" a more descriptive word?

I really enjoyed reading this. The cold, crisp descriptions were quite nice; I also found it interesting that you ended the poem with a final, brief line about the city, even painting it in ominous tones. I believe you invented the word "wolfen", but shortening it to "wolf" loses the euphonious quality... perhaps you could swap it with something like "lupine". As mentioned by those above, "feilds" needs to be fixed. As for "skinny", it works, but rather awkwardly. What if you replaced it with a word like "narrow"? Just a suggestion.

Thanks for sharing this with us. A "like–it" for sure. (I usually don't use this many quotation marks. It's just that kind of day, I guess.)

–antimelrose

Thank you all for your feedback. It is much apprieciated and I have slightly altered the poem in accordance with it.