The Smoker's Sea Song

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Gender Female
Points 1046
Reviews 9
Want to watch the planes in the sky
Eternally.
Want to meet you at the bridge,
Only after three, when I feel lonely.

Walk away from what we know.
Take me where I want to go.
Let’s pretend the world is dark –
Its inhabitants cruel and landscape stark.

We can be friends tonight
If we blow our smoke to the sea.
Things never feel all right
So we seek sage in the sky’s astronomy.

Want to forget superstition and
Circumstance.
Left my watch in the past, along with my
Cognizance.

So let’s leave this place that we know,
And escape to where we want to go.
Can’t we pretend we share Night with the stars?
Let the salty air heal our scars?
Cause I never feel more abandoned than I do when I’m with you
No, I never feel lonelier than when I’m with you.

Still, I hope we can be friends tonight,
We’ll blow our smoke to the sea.
I know you never feel all right
So I seek sage in the sky’s astronomy.
"Speak English! I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!"




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Gender Male
Points 1630
Reviews 56
That was nice. What sound are you planning for this?




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Gender Female
Points 1046
Reviews 9
I'm not very musical, but I always imagined some sort of folk/ soft rock sound to the song. Any suggestions? I would greatly appreciate critique!
"Speak English! I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!"




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Gender Male
Points 1017
Reviews 8
Wawww, I like.
I love how you use real words, most of the lyrics you hear nowadays don't have words with over three syllables so that idiots don't get hemerages trying to figure out what they mean.
Your imagery is very strong, the first verse captivated me. I love the structure you've used, it makes the rhythm seem flowing, yet partly offbeat, keeping it interesting.
What's the main concept in the song? I've got a few ideas, and I can relate a few personal thoughts into some of the lyrics.
I think the lyrics would sound good in a soft rock song, but not a mainstream soft rock, maybe an underground or more grungey styled genre.
XxXxX




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Gender None specified
Points 1104
Reviews 1
soft silhouetted pictures capture my head when i read these lyrics your song takes one on a simplistic journey yet all five of humanities senses on earth are vivid.



Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
— Elbert Hubbard