OK, so I am hoping this part is a bit better. PLease review.
Weeks were passing, we were hanging out more and more. Girls like her were as rare as a flood in a desert. She was bold, aggressive, smart, gorgeous, funny rebellious and so much more! Yet, at the same time she was very like me. Sometimes, she could read me like an open book. And it scared me.
Sam walked by in the crowded school hall, with Jenny and Larry. They were her group. Lately they had become my group too. I had hanged out with them quite a few times being friends with Sammy. Larry was a bit strange. He had crazy dark, curly hair, wild green eyes and he was sort of a klutz. Though he was a really good guy.
Jenny. Before recently, I had barely known her. I don't think anybody did. She was very quiet. I'd never really spoken to her properly. The only memory I could recall speaking to her at all, was like a year ago when I asked her if I could borrow her pen. Even then, she did not speak a word. She responded with a nod, and then quietly returned to her book.I don't believe she is very well known around school. But now, I sort of knew her. She was pretty too.
All in all, Sam was my favourite, and she was even prettier than Jenny. Beautiful actually. Big brown eyes, long, wavy light brown hair which she never tied back. She dressed different from any of the girls at school. But, I didn't feel I was good enough for her.
I knew that I was good looking, and I do not say that because I am vain. A lot of girls had asked me out, for my number. Just not the right one. But, somehow I didn't feel like we fitted. I had never done a thing to deserve a friend like her. She listened, talked. So many people had talked to me, but the difference was the things Sam said actually made sense. She taught me that, when people who care about us try to help, it usually doesn't work. But, even though they don't know what to say, just knowing that they care helps more than anybody could know.
"Hey guys!" I said.
"Hello." They replied.
"Want to go see a movie?" I suggested. School was finished and I had money. So why not?
"Well," Jenny said. "I actually have a lot of studying to do."
"Yeah and I have soccer practise." Larry said after. You learn something new every day.
"But," Jenny went on. "Why don't you and Sam go?...Alone?" OK, now she was having fun. Larry shot her a grin and then winked at Sam.
"I'm up for it if you are?" Sam said to me. My heart rate had drastically increased.
"Uh, yeah...sure." Damn it. Make it obvious why don't you Tom? I thought to myself.
"Come on then." She said with smile on her face. I would just let myself believe it was because we were going to be alone, though I knew it wasn't true.
"Right then." Like you deserve her, pathetic. I could hear voices in my head.
We walked for a while.
"You don't talk much." She said.
"Well, I haven't got much to say." I responded. Lie. I didn't talk much to her, in case I said the wrong thing and ended up regretting it completely.
"I think its because you don't know what to say." How the hell did she know?!
"You know me too well babe." I laughed.
"But, don't you think that's a good thing? That we know each other so well? I mean, that way we understand each other more, even when we are incredibly silent." I actually loved that she knew me so well. What I did not love, was the part of me she did not know. The dark side.
"Yeah, I guess it is a good thing."
"I like knowing you though." She shouldn't, I was not worth a second of her time.
"You shouldn't." Oh no. I'd done it now. One of my own rules was not to let people in, even the tiniest phrase could give them a glimpse into your soul. Now, by saying that I had just shown her how self conscious I really was.
"I don't care, I do." And suddenly I felt her hand on mine, my head was spinning at the slightest touch of her soft skin. There was nothing I could do about it.
We walked hand in hand all the way up to the cinema.
There were loads of people around, I liked that because then maybe they would think we were dating.
After we got our tickets from a very nice lady at the counter, we walked past a tall guy. Craig. He was in my class. He looked over his red glasses, which came across the kind you would get free in a cereal box.
"Nice girl friend mate!" He said. Ha, I wished. You wish loser. The voices echoed.
"We're just mates." I noticed the sharp edge of pain I felt at my words. He walked away with that.
"Wow. I would have great taste if you were mine though." She winked and I laughed. She was so cool.
We sat at the back row of the many lined red chairs. I don't think we had any intention in watching the movie. We laughed around for like ten minutes, irritating anybody near enough to hear us. That was when I got a text from Decko.
hey man. Cheer up, sorry about what happened with the letter and all. And sorry I couldn't be there aswel. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel princess!
A tear rolled down my cheek. I had found a letter from my mother in the attic. It was supposed to be given to me after she died.
it said:
Dear Tommy,
If you are reading this, I am gone I am sorry you are alone, and I am sorry I could not find anybody else for you to stay with. I wish things didn't turn out like this, my son. I do not want you to live your whole life bottled up with hatred over your father. He loved you, dear, but he just simply wasn't strong enough to cope. It was so heart breaking to see you cry for nights over his mistake. You're the best son a mother could ask for and I am so proud of you. Someday, you will make some other people proud too. I will always love you dear, Mum.
I felt anger and pain, mostly pain. He left us after everything! I would take that to my grave no matter what happened.
"Are you OK?" Sam asked.
"Define OK."
"What's up?"
I showed her the message.
"My mother used to say that to me. Dumb right, getting upset over that?"
"Used to?"
"She's dead. I found a letter in the attic of the kip last night. I was supposed to read it ages ago. You see, when I was a kid she got ill. My dad took off without a word." I wasn't sure if she could take it all in, I didn't cry, but my voice was a bit choked.
"Oh Tom!" She said. She took my hand again. "That's awful! I can understand why you are angry and upset, I don't blame you."
"But that's just it! I'm so sick of being angry! Its like... I want him to come to me so that I can rip his throat out, and tell him how much I hate him! But, a part of me misses him so much too, and I shouldn't!"
"I know what you mean. My dad, he...hits me," She stuttered on her words. I could see the pain on her expression. Talking about it hurt her, like it hurt me. "He blames me for everything, and then he loses his temper. He does it a lot." She lifted her sleeve, her entire arm was covered in bruises. "He said if I told anybody, they wouldn't believe me. If I did he would leave and never come back. I can't let it happen. I - I...can't let go!" She started crying. For some reason, I don't think she had told any of this to Jenny and Larry.
"Its OK. Sammy, you can't let him do that to you. It's not right! Your mum, does she have any idea?" I felt for her more than ever now.
She nodded.
"WHAT?"
"She knows, she just doesn't care. She's so desperate for me to be like her, snobby. She doesn't like to think any bad can come to us. He used to do it to her too." Her voice, it was shaky. All I wanted to do was make everything better, give her the life I longed for. But, we were both stuck on the same boat.
"You are worth so much more than that." My voice had lowered to a deep whisper. I meant every word.
"So are you." Now she was wrong. I was completely worthless,
"No." I said flatly.
"You are!"
"I'm not. Not to anyone, believe me."
"You're important to me," she said. "You are my only real friend!" She cried. She held me with a stare, making my whole body flood with electricity. I felt something deep in the pit of my stomach.
"Come here." I said, taking her into my arms and hugging her tightly. Quickly as it was, we were best friends. And it was not something to fight.
More is coming!
