?Not Good?

Ok I'm not quite sure why I wrote this... It's not really a poem. It's more of just what i was thinking at that particular time.I just had to write something. I thought I would put it up to see if anyone understood it because I quite honestly don't get where it came from.




Sitting here, staring into my version of oblivion
Thinking about what I'm doing here.
By here I do not mean on this earth or in this lifestyle.
I just mean why am I sitting on this chair writing things down?
I cant really explain it but i cant think of an answer to what seems to be a very simple question.

I wonder if anyone else has ever thought that.
Have you? maybe, maybe not.
It doesn't really matter because who would admit talking to themselves about nothing?
No-one.

I don't even remember what my point was.

It's odd how people think like that. They just go off on a meaningless ramble which will always end up that same way. They just forget about it.

Hello! I've never been much of a poet, but I thought I'd at least leave a comment.

Hmm... so to interpret what was going on through your head when you wrote this? Who knows! However, I think I could make a couple guesses as to what the point of it is. Maybe one of them will help you out? XD

1. The speaker could be questioning destiny or fate, how things are predetermined. Why the heck am I writing this review to you? Why am I not jumping off an airplane or diving into an ocean? Why am I sitting right here, typing up this review? Maybe something like that.

2. The speaker could be depressed, wondering why he's alive.

Personal preference, I like the fist option. But! You must edit your poem to make more sense of the message, whatever message you want. What we have here is a bit of a disorganized ramble, but once you decide on what this poem really is about, you can structure the poem accordingly. Use metaphors, imagery, all those lovely poetic devices, and bring out the message.

And... that's all I have. I really am not a poet. XD

If you have any questions though, I'd love to help you out! Hopefully I've struck a chord as to how to go about this poem.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

Hi,

I love when pieces just come out of nowhere!

This flows nice and easily and is an interesting piece. The tone is great and I think the layout is very effective. I really like the concept.

I think it reads more like a piece of free-writing.I think it would be interesting to take the mood of the piece and channel it into something visual. Like where is the speaker sitting and what has prompted their musings?

Hope this helps.

Jas

This is very capable of being great with a little clean up. Like at parts,"It doesn't really matter because who would admit talking to themselves about nothing?No-one.I don't even remember what my point was.It's odd how people think like that. They just go off on a meaningless ramble which will always end up that same way. They just forget about it." That does not all flow together. Other then that, good!

I always like to see what comes out of a person's mind when they just sit down and write. It's fascinating to see our thoughts form into words on paper, becoming solid. For this reason, don't change any of this poem. Poetry is a special kind of writing. There's really no required form, and I actually thought this was really good. I think it's cool to catch a glimpse into someone else's mind. Really...don't change it.