I remember when we held onto each other
When we had each other’s hands,
Unable— unwilling to let go
And then all at once you let go of me
Let my arm fall to my side and drift
I couldn’t let that happen,
I snatch you back; I held your arm,
I couldn’t let you go yet
I wasn’t done with happiness
My grip was relentless
Panic in my heart for you—
For losing you
But with every word you cut a finger
Every gesture you stabbed my palm
In vain I switched hands
But your dislike cripples my wrist
And then in one fall sweep,
I realize I hold onto you now,
only with the skeleton of my affection
In the pain my grip loosens
But in the heartache, I let go
But now, with these dead hands
I can hold to no one
They are weak and broken
I must protect them
I must never hold on again
Except myself
I must only trust myself to hold onto
If I were ever to touch another
Ever to keep another, they could be damaged again
I will keep them close
I will shield them from the world
Cover them in hatred so others find them distasteful
I will close them to the world
The scars of my palms will never be revealed
They will remain in the darkness—
In the pockets of my heart and mind.
**Not a fan of the title or last two lines, if you have any suggestions.
