The Effect of Confucianism on Gender Equality in China

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How has Confucianism affected gender equality through social relationships in modern day China?

Confucianism placed their footprint on China during the times of the Qin dynasty, and along with it, this religion has stunted the growth of gender equality, leaving women fighting for their rights. Usually, one wouldn’t think that Confucianism plays any part in the social relationships of China, and how they affect gender equality, but it in fact does. In social relationships such as the education of children in China, the workplaces, and even the homes of China, Confucianism has restricted women from flourishing because of the underlying belief that women are secondary to men.
For hundreds of years, girls and women in China never got the chance to an education because of the Confucian belief that males are more valued than females, which therefore leads to the thought that women shouldn’t work. According to www.womeninworldhistory.com, –“Confucianism was adopted as the government's state doctrine, with his thoughts becoming part of official education.”(Women) This not only indoctrinates females into thinking that they’re lesser than men, but also makes them believe that they don’t have a right to an education. Confucian roots are based in this piece of evidence because, women were often like maids, and were at the bottom of the food chain. In addition, the World Bank also states that because of the global financial crisis, essentially, Confucian beliefs will come back to haunt the Chinese, and instead of pulling boys out of school to save money, they will pull the girls out, since the man is the one who is supposed to provide for his family. (Women in) Although the Chinese have been working to solve the issue of gender inequality, they still have a long way to go. A way they could improve this is, is by listening to the new UNICEF report that says, “eliminating gender discrimination and empowering women will have a profound and positive impact on the survival and well-being of children.”(Rycroft) By increasing the ratio of females to males that attend school, China could greatly change the situation of gender inequality in schools, as well as also improving their economy and even banishing the Confucian beliefs in the homes of the Chinese.
Probably one of the most negatively Confucian affected areas of China, are the homes of the Chinese. An example of how valued women were at that time is, “”Woman’s greatest duty is to produce a son””. (Women) Women were thought of simply as a vessel to carry a child, and afterwards they were sentenced to hard labor and a demeaning, worthless life. Secondly, “In history, Chinese women had been in a humble status and required to obey men -- from their fathers, husbands to sons - in a strict hierarchy.”(Jianyang) This is the effect of Confucianism to modern day China since there is still evidence that this is still being practiced. Finally, Chinese women were expected to be, “never thirsty, never hungry, never sleepy, never tired, and never has to go to the toilet.”(Sanna) As you can see, the Chinese viewpoint of women were very unrealistic, and often times, Chinese women didn’t even want to live. The discrimination against women (with help from Confucius) started in the homes, and eventually transgressed to the Chinese workplace where various types of discriminations flourished through the subconscious state of everyone involved.
The current workplaces of China are in a wreck because of the global financial crisis, but also because of the current inequality between females. An example of this is, that according to Chinese regulations, “women have to retire 5 years earlier than that of men”(Jianyang) This is a ludicrous rule because if a woman is fit to work, they shouldn’t have an age limit to retire. Another reason why the workplaces of China are being discriminative is, “11.2 percent said they lost their jobs for having babies,”(Jianyang). This is discrimination because female workers should be allowed to get maternity leave instead of having to loose their jobs, and in the end, not being able to support their baby. Finally, “statistics indicate there were 337 million female employees in China by the end of 2004, accounting for 44.8 percent of the total workforce.”(Tingting). This isn’t right because, the percentage of total women and men working in China should be an equal distribution.
Finally, although Confucianism has ridden many women of their chance to a better life, China has shown steps to move forward in removing the gender inequality based barriers. For example, the percentage of females who work in the Chinese workplace is slowly increasing, and it won’t be long since it’s an even distribution of genders in the Chinese workplace. Central beliefs always influence a main power, and Confucianism affected the Chinese government by increasing it’s power as one of the most influential countries in the world, but hopefully one of these days, they’ll be a global representative of how women are treated equally to men.

*An Asian Studies project I did earlier this year.
Priyasha M.™
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi




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Hi! I'll review this for you!

Confucianism placed their footprint on China during the times of the Qin dynasty, and along with it, this religion has stunted the growth of gender equality, leaving women fighting for their rights. Usually, one wouldn’t think that Confucianism plays any part in the social relationships of China, and how they affect gender equality, but it in fact does. In social relationships such as the education of children in China, the workplaces, and even the homes of China, Confucianism has restricted women from flourishing because of the underlying belief that women are secondary to men.
Great intro! I was absolutely drawn into it! Great first paragraph, you begin explaining and you definitely put your thesis in it.

Wow, your second paragraph was well written as well. I was thinking in my head at this line:
instead of pulling boys out of school to save money, they will pull the girls out, since the man is the one who is supposed to provide for his family.
I "Now this isn't fair!" I was getting mad because It truly isn't and I didn't know it was that bad!

“”Woman’s greatest duty is to produce a son””
Now that's just stupid. You really tell us the details here and thats great, and it makes me think how unfair it is that women in China don't have any better duties than having sons!

“never thirsty, never hungry, never sleepy, never tired, and never has to go to the toilet.”
I totally gasped here. I couldn't believe it! That is really stupid, and its not fair. You did a great job in this paragraph, and it really helps us see the point.

Finally, although Confucianism has ridden many women of their chance to a better life, China has shown steps to move forward in removing the gender inequality based barriers. For example, the percentage of females who work in the Chinese workplace is slowly increasing, and it won’t be long since it’s an even distribution of genders in the Chinese workplace. Central beliefs always influence a main power, and Confucianism affected the Chinese government by increasing it’s power as one of the most influential countries in the world, but hopefully one of these days, they’ll be a global representative of how women are treated equally to men.
Finally, great conclusion. It really summed things up, maybe state your thesis here a little clearer.

All Together

All together this is an amazing piece of writing! You told the reader about whats been happening and me, being a girl, I felt as if I need to help do something about it, because truly its not fair. This was an amazing essay!

~Forest

P.S. Earlier today in class this kid said that men are the dominate species and that women are only there for cleaning, well wait till I tell them about this! Then they'll feel sorry! Haha, again, great job!
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Hi there. I'll be reviewing you as thoroughly as I can.

Confucianism placed their footprint on China during the times of the Qin dynasty, and along with it, this religion has stunted the growth of gender equality, leaving women fighting for their rights.

This is your topic sentence, and as such, should be as easy as possible to understand. "Confucianism, a religion prominent in China since the Qin Dynasty, has stunted the growth of gender equality" is just one possibility that is much shorter and easier to understand.

Also, Confucianism is a single thing and is so referred to as an "it".

Usually, one wouldn’t think that Confucianism plays any part in the social relationships of China, and how they affect gender equality, but it in fact does.

Why wouldn't one think Confucianism has a huge impact on the way the Chinese think? It's a major religion, and all major religions have obvious impacts on the people that follow them and in the countries where they are dominant.

In social relationships such as the education of children in China, the workplaces, and even the homes of China,

You repeat "China". Really, it isn't necessary to even mention China as, by now, it has been established that this essay is about China and how Confucianism affects the women living there.

According to www.womeninworldhistory.com, –“Confucianism was adopted as the government's state doctrine, with his thoughts becoming part of official education.”(Women) This not only indoctrinates females into thinking that they’re lesser than men, but also makes them believe that they don’t have a right to an education.

If the women are not getting an education, and the concept that women are inferior to men is part of the official education, then how are the women being indoctrinated? You should mention how.

Confucian roots are based in this piece of evidence because, women were often like maids, and were at the bottom of the food chain.

Watch your commas.

In addition, the World Bank also states that because of the global financial crisis, essentially, Confucian beliefs will come back to haunt the Chinese, and instead of pulling boys out of school to save money, they will pull the girls out, since the man is the one who is supposed to provide for his family.

How does pulling girls out of school lead to a worse financial situation in China?

A way they could improve this is, is by listening to the new UNICEF report that says, “eliminating gender discrimination and empowering women will have a profound and positive impact on the survival and well-being of children.”

Improve what? Their financial situation, or the ratio of girls to boys in schools? Also, saying that China should eliminate discrimination is one thing, but does the report contain any concrete suggestions on how these changes could be implemented?

By increasing the ratio of females to males that attend school, China could greatly change the situation of gender inequality in schools, as well as also improving their economy and even banishing the Confucian beliefs in the homes of the Chinese.

How does more females in school lead to economic prosperity? Also, what you're saying in the last part of the sentence is that Confucianism is a terrible, terrible religion that no sane person should ever follow because it treats women as less than equal. Surely Confucianism as a whole is not as evil as you are portraying it, else why is it such a major force in Chinese life?

An example of how valued women were at that time is, “”Woman’s greatest duty is to produce a son””.

This attitude was not restricted to just China.

Secondly, “In history, Chinese women had been in a humble status and required to obey men -- from their fathers, husbands to sons - in a strict hierarchy.”(Jianyang) This is the effect of Confucianism to modern day China since there is still evidence that this is still being practiced.

Again, not restricted to China.

Finally, Chinese women were expected to be, “never thirsty, never hungry, never sleepy, never tired, and never has to go to the toilet.”

Good example of how the discrimination was bad, but you are still lacking examples of why discrimination is harmful to China.

The discrimination against women (with help from Confucius) started in the homes, and eventually progressed to the Chinese workplace where various types of discriminations flourished through the subconscious state of everyone involved.

Be careful that you don't misuse words. Dictionaries exist for a reason.

The current workplaces of China are in a wreck because of the global financial crisis, but also because of the current inequality between females.

How does the inequality lead to financial problems?

Another reason why way the workplaces of China are being discriminative is, “11.2 percent said they lost their jobs for having babies,”(Jianyang).

You are telling us how the workplace is being discriminative; not why. Now, if you said "11.2 percent [of Chinese women] said they lost their jobs for having babies" (Jianyang) because jobs refused to keep workers that could not work, even temporarily," that includes a reason why.

This is discrimination because female workers should be allowed to get maternity leave instead of having to loose their jobs, and in the end, not being able to support their baby.

"Should" is what is called a loaded word; you are imposing your own viewpoint on the matter onto the reader. Was this intended to be a persuasive essay? If so, the title is misleading, and I was expecting an informative essay.

Finally, “statistics indicate there were 337 million female employees in China by the end of 2004, accounting for 44.8 percent of the total workforce.”(Tingting). This isn’t right because, the percentage of total women and men working in China should be an equal distribution.

44.8% isn't that far from equal and, considering that there are more males than females in the population, it may not be possible for there to be an even 50%. Do these numbers you've quoted take the unbalanced male-to-female ration into account?

Finally, although Confucianism has rid many women of their chance to a better life, China has shown steps to move forward in removing the gender inequality based barriers. For example, the percentage of females who work in the Chinese workplace is slowly increasing, and it won’t be long since it’s an even distribution of genders in the Chinese workplace.

Your conclusion should summarize everything you covered in your essay; this is an entirely new point that you have not covered anywhere in the essay, and so belongs in its ow paragraph.

Central beliefs always influence a main power, and Confucianism affected the Chinese government by increasing it’s power as one of the most influential countries in the world, but hopefully one of these days, they’ll be a global representative of how women are treated equally to men.

This sentence should be split into at least two.

Overall, your sentences tended to be long and a bit rambling. I suggest going back through and rewriting things so that they are as simple and easy to understand as possible. Also, you made a lot of claims without supporting them, especially in regards to how gender equality would help improve the Chinese economy. You also need to figure out what your main point of this essay is: gender equality, or that Confucianism should be abolished.

Other things you need to watch out for are punctuation (there were a lot of misused commas I did not point out) and word usage. There are dictionaries and punctuation guides easily available on the internet; there is no reason not to use them.

That said, this was a decent essay for your age. :D
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Seriously, are you kids really saying your true age? i came accross really good pieces in here and i am really astounded by how mature a writer you all sounded.

well here it is:

As we all know, Confucius is a world renowned philosopher. Yeah, he ranks with Plato, Socrates and many other ancient philosophers, meaning he is one hell of a brilliant guy. But that's beside the point... i am to review your work... alrighty then:

your essay is concise, full of information and not the usual boring narrative of facts.
it is entertaining and sounded a bit humurous with incredulity in tone. technically, the exposition of the facts were a bit off in the middle, however that was too minor a flaw to be criticised.

and to tell you honesly, i enjoyed reading it and ery seldom i read factual pieces and this might be well retained in my mind fro quite sometime. Your style is appealing as it is informative and i think you could do well if you choose investigative journalism once you enterd college.
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@Forestqueen808; I'm REALLY glad that you liked it! :) Thanks for the review.
@Kyllorac; I understand where you're coming from, I have a bad habit of adding a hidden level of bias into my writing, and I do acknowledge that this essay has a long way to go, but thank you :) I didn't mean to offend you, and I wasn't trying to say that Confucianism is a bad/unfair (i guess) religion, I was only trying to prove my points in this essay. Also, we were under a limit of words so I didn't get to fully explain myself, and maybe I should've cut down on the information, but yeah :D Thank you SO much for your review it's really helped me. :)
@bookgeek; No, I'm not lying about my age, but thanks so much for thinking that! :D It makes me feel loads better about myself :p haha. THANK YOU! :D I've never thought about taking up journalism, but I'll definitely think of it now that you've recommended it :) I'm so glad that this is going to be in your mind :] honestly, that's what I aim for in life since I only want to make an impact and make my points heard.

Again, thanks so much for the reviews, I can't say how appreciative I am that you reviewed this.
I'm so eternally grateful, and I'll re-do it when I get the time.

- Shishu95
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"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi



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