I plod

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Tomas
Gender Male
Points 2688
Reviews 10
Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:58 pm
Tomas says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:58 pm
Heart I nontransparent beat
reap current lands upon thy apart.
Start the hierophants clement it heaps
seeps in to augment arguments I find out.
:)

My God! Can our relations confide?
Abide patients devour an odd sigh.
I plod an empowered publication worldwide.
Subdivided orchestrations scour plans, God why?
Last edited by Tomas on Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Velvet.whispers
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Sae
Gender Female
Points 1982
Reviews 5
Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:25 pm
Sae says... · Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:25 pm
This poem has some nice wording and flow in it. I liked how the verses sound clear. I must admit, like Velvet.whispers, I did not quite understand this poem, as I did not see much of a clear message being told by the poem. Perhaps you could add some more description of what you wish to say to your audience. Anyhow... good job on the flow and wording! This could be a neat poem with some editing! See you around.
-Sae <3
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MattJF
Gender Male
Points 5635
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Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:31 am
MattJF says... · Tue Jan 26, 2010 2:31 am
Good use of vocabulary and you've obviously taken time on it. But I have to agree with Velvet whispers and sae, I have not got a clue what this is about? Care to elaborate?
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4 posts


You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan