I like you.

I like you,
Do you like me?
I guess were just not meant to be
And by we, I mean you and I,
I and you
I guess ill just give up
Ill find someone else,
I just don’t know where to look
And who to find.

------------------------------------------

thankyou for reading this ^_^
This poem is about me liking a guy who was leading me on, and after about 3 weeks it all just stopped.

Hey there iateyourdogx67! I'm Ben! - Welcome to YWS!
Anyway!
I love this short and sweet poem. It's just the perfect length in my opinion!
One nit-pick I would have is where your poem changes from a healthy rhythm to a slower pace, which works really well but I seem to find myself a little confused. Here are the lines I mean:

I and you
I guess ill just give up

The reason for the confusion is the "I and you" is vaguely repeated and it's a little uncomfortable for your poem's flow.

BUT!

You've started this fantastically and I love the involvement you give your reader through the rhetorical question!

I like you,
Do you like me?

Fabulous!

I also like how you haven't religiously kept to an rhyming pattern, so you've got this focus on the message and this freestyle read which is very powerful. I enjoyed reading your poem very much and cannot wait to see more!

Keep writing!
Ben.

BenFranks wrote:Hey there iateyourdogx67! I'm Ben! - Welcome to YWS!
Anyway!
I love this short and sweet poem. It's just the perfect length in my opinion!
One nit-pick I would have is where your poem changes from a healthy rhythm to a slower pace, which works really well but I seem to find myself a little confused. Here are the lines I mean:

I and you
I guess ill just give up

The reason for the confusion is the "I and you" is vaguely repeated and it's a little uncomfortable for your poem's flow.

BUT!

You've started this fantastically and I love the involvement you give your reader through the rhetorical question!

I like you,
Do you like me?

Fabulous!

I also like how you haven't religiously kept to an rhyming pattern, so you've got this focus on the message and this freestyle read which is very powerful. I enjoyed reading your poem very much and cannot wait to see more!

Keep writing!
Ben.

Hi ben
thankyou very much for reading and commenting this, and thank you for all the advice
it was very helpful

This is really good, I like it because it's short and sweet but also meaningful. Good job!

I was skeptical at first because of the name..seems very immature but the writing itself was very powerful and meaningful. If I were you, I'd read that to the crapface who lead you on..I hate leader-oners. :_( If that made sense...in my mind it did. Anyway, I really liked this, last line was my favorite.


~Jasmine Bells~
Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate

Heylo!

I love short poems. They're much easier to enjoy than some long ones, because they don't drone on for ages.

I'm not so sure how much I like this one, though! I think, as any poem, it's got potential, and I feel that you should put it to use, dear. Instead of just asking questions and feeding us fragments of this crush or love story, give us more story so that we can better relate and appreciate.

June

Thankyou everyone for taking the time to read this and give me feedback. I really appreciate it.