The day I lost my heart was the day I lost him. He was my reason for existence, my reason to get up each morning, the one that was in my last thoughts as I went to sleep and the one in my dreams. But he’s gone now. Now I’m alone. Again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a dark winter day when I first saw him. I was in English, barely paying attention to my surroundings. I was looking absent-mindedly at the board when he came into the class. He had a yellow late-slip in his hand, the teacher took it without any fuss or introduction and directed him towards the only free seat in the class, the one next to me. He sat down, slinging his bag underneath the desk. I smiled at him but he completely ignored me and kept his eyes forward, towards the teacher. Perhaps he hadn’t noticed me, most people don’t. I was the person that people’s eyes slid over without paying attention to. I was invisible to the people in this school.
I gazed at him through the corner of my eye, I had seen that he was tall, with short dark brown hair, and very obviously good-looking, but I hadn’t been able to see his eyes. He was looking towards the teacher but somehow I could tell that his mind was on other things. He didn’t look at me through the whole lesson and when the bell went for 2nd period he almost ran out the class. I wasn’t particularly insulted; I was used to people treating me like a leper. I walked to my next class trying to avoid the people pushing and shoving in the corridor. I stopped at my locker to change books and glanced in the mirror that the previous owner had left there. My long black hair partially obscured my piercing green eyes. My skin looked – as normal – white, but not sickly at least.
I grabbed my history folder shoving in my English book, realising that the corridors were almost empty. Luckily my History room was nearby and I got in before the teacher. I noticed that the new guy from English was in here as well but he had already found a seat next to the flirtatious Rachel. She was obviously trying to grab his attention but his eyes – the exact same shade of green as mine I noticed – were staring straight at me. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as his eyes cut right through me. Rachel hadn’t noticed that he was looking at me but when she impatiently tapped his shoulder he turned round towards her, his eyes reluctantly leaving mine. I stumble towards my chair at the back of the class, still reeling at the power his eyes had. The teacher came in and ordered the class to quieten down. She was one of the few teachers who called register in class and I paid more attention than usual, wanting to hear his name. My name was called second, Megan Bell, but his name was almost at the end, I had been starting to wonder if it was going to get called at all when the teacher called out “Williams, Lucas” his gentle yet strong voice replied “Here”.
Usually I pay close attention to everything the teacher says in History as it is my favourite subject, but today all I could think of was him, Lucas. I stumbled through the next two periods, each time expecting to see him there, but being disappointed each time. When the lunch bell rang I headed towards our grey cafeteria, I didn’t trust the ‘food’ that they served there so I always brought a sandwich. I sat at a table by myself in the corner of the room and took out my book that I always had on me, and put my earphones in, playing my usual playlist. No one sat next to me in fear of being marked as one of those weird kids. I didn’t really mind the isolation though, as long as I had my music and most importantly, my books I was fine. But today someone sat next to me. I put my book down and pulled out one earphone. I stared in amazement at the person sitting next to me. It was Lucas, he was staring in amusement at me, probably because of the look of utter astonishment that must have been on my face.
“You looked like you might want some company, mind if I join you?” he asked in his soft, silky voice.
“Ehh, no, of course not.” I stuttered back, still shocked. He smiled like an angel as he sat down. I was about to push my book back into my bag as he stopped my hand and picked up the book. My skin jolted from his touch but he seemed oblivious as he looked at the book and glanced at the back of the book.
“Good book?” he asked, seeming genuinely interested.
“Yeah, this is my fourth time reading it.” I smiled timidly, looking at the tattered binding of the book that had gone through a lot in my bag. He raised an eyebrow at that.
“Fourth?” His green eyes were staring into mine again.
“I… er… read a lot.” I answered, momentarily losing my train of thought.
“So do I” he replied, his green eyes dancing with something I couldn’t recognise. We just sat there for a while staring into each other’s eyes, until I looked behind me, sensing some eyes glaring at me.
Rachel was a few tables away, scowling at me in anger and disbelief, I doubt she’d really noticed my existence before now, but she had definitely noticed who was sitting next to me and it didn’t make her happy one bit. I heard a snort of laughter behind me and I turned round about to ask what was so funny when he answered my unspoken question.
“I think I’ve spoken to her once, and she is already acting jealous.” He smiled at me. What did he mean by that? Was there something for her to be jealous of? I put these questions to the back of my head as the bell went.
“What class are you in now?” he asked me.
“Art” I replied wearily, it had to be one of my least favourite subjects and I dreaded it each day.
“Same” he said with that angelic smile on his lips again, my prospects looked considerably better now. We walked to the Art department together. He commented on my earphone still in my ear, as it had been all lunch.
“I kind of forget I have it in, I’m so used to it.” I replied semi-honestly. Music was such a basic part of my life that I put it in automatically but I don’t forget it’s there. I’m always half aware of music whether I’m in a shop and they’re playing music, or passing by a café with a band playing, I always notice the music.
We reached the Art room without talking anymore but it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was just comfortable. I wasn’t used to that kind of silence. Silence usually scared me, just the emptiness of it. But it wasn’t like that with him. I smiled as he held the door open for and my heart leapt when he smiled back. I had only known him for a day but he already had changed me…
I lost my train of thought as I stared at him, he was amazingly beautiful, his face looked like it had been sculpted from marble it was so perfect, his eyes were such a startling green, I was still shocked at how close the colour was to mine. His dark hair was loose and left without gel or anything else in it that made guys hair look like they had dipped their head in a vat of oil, that most of them seemed to think made them look great. I could see that he was pretty well built underneath his t-shirt. I blushed and lowered my eyes even although there was no way that he could have heard what I was saying.
