7-29-09 First Love

I met you in the summer,
With your crazy green eyes,
And your crooked smile.
You stole my heart
Just by saying "hi".
And I don't mind.
You can keep my heart
If I can steal yours in return.

I like it sounds like a facebook status

In the second line I think you meant "Your crazy green eyes" instead of "You crazy green eyes,"

Short + Sweet = My kind of writing

lol

3/5

Thanks for catching that! ^^

This was a cute poem. Very brief and to the point. My only real critique was the second to last line.
You wrote:

You can keep my heart

And for some reason, I really felt like this disrupted the flow of your whole poem. Personally I think it would read better if you wrote:

You can keep it

Also, punctuate your poem just like you would a regular paragraph. Put commas and periods were you would naturally pause. You don't have to capitalise each line, unless it is following a period. Hopefully this was helpful. Good job!