the spirit of Christmas.

a cold, morning breeze entered my bedroom window, waking me up. i stood beside the window, and in the distance, the church bell rang. it was four o'clock in the morning. i grabbed my jacket and went outside. the house is filled with festive lights, and a bright lantern hung in the front porch. it's Christmas. yet i can't feel its spirit. where is it?

where is the spirit of Christmas?

most people are complaining about it. they are comparing this Christmas with the previous one. they said that the spirit of Christmas is missing. the decorations, the carolers. everything. only the cold breeze remains the same.

well, they are right. there are less decorations and less carolers this Christmas compared last year. actually, when september came, people usually start to decorate their houses. now, Christmas is almost there, yet still some houses are bare.

people are busy. they are caught between work. they cannot find time to spent the Christmas holidays. but, you know what? why they can't really feel the spirit of Christmas?

it's not about the decorations. it's not about the carolers, nor the food. it's not about the gifts either. it's about God, and His love for us. the real message of Christmas is this: a Savior is born on a manger bed. the birth of Jesus. for the whole world to be saved. the problem with us, we lack time for Jesus too.

try reading the Bible. you will soon feel the spirit of Christmas.

Hi there!

If you are trying to persuade someone to read the Bible and get a real feel for Christmas and its true meaning (Jesus's birth) then you are defiantly going to have to add more facts and reasoning behind your statement.

To me (I'm quite far from being religious) Christmas is about family and being together. Sharing the love, giving and such. So you defaintly are going to have a hard time convincing me to read the Bible to get that Christmas spirit back.

With that being said, you're going to have to take a different approach to convince those who really don't care for religion and the Bible. Don't try to get on our bad side and be preachy about it. Getting on the side of those who aren't religious is the main key to convincing people. And try using a different approach and mayhap use normal essay formant. It'll look more proffesional.

Also, use proper puncuation and capitilize the first words in your sentences. I really can't stand improper puncuation.

Good luck!

Meadow

Your story is good, but there are a few problems.

At the beginning of a sentence, you should always capitalize the first word. Instead of:

a cold, morning breeze entered my bedroom window, waking me up. i stood beside the window, and in the distance, the church bell rang. it was four o'clock in the morning. i grabbed my jacket and went outside. the house is filled with festive lights, and a bright lantern hung in the front porch. it's Christmas. yet i can't feel its spirit. where is it?

It should be:

A cold, morning breeze entered my bedroom window, waking me up. I stood beside the window, and in the distance, the church bell rang. It was four o'clock in the morning. I grabbed my jacket and went outside. The house is filled with festive lights, and a bright lantern hung in the front porch. It's Christmas. Yet i can't feel its spirit. [b]W[/b[here is it?

it's Christmas. yet i can't feel its spirit.

The first period should be a comma.

now, Christmas is almost there, yet still some houses are bare.

Shouldn't it say, "Christmas is almost here?"

the real message of Christmas is this: a Savior is born on a manger bed. the birth of Jesus. for the whole world to be saved.

You need a subject and a verb in each sentence.

try reading the Bible. you will soon feel the spirit of Christmas.

You could easily leave out this sentence. It doesn't go along with the rest of the essay, and is in second person instead of third.

Other then that, your story is great.

thank you to all.
i'm glad that my story is being corrected. i like that.
i'm not fluent in english actually, since i'm a filipino.
thanks to the wonderful advices i got.

hope you enjoy the holidays guys. merry christmas and a happy new year to all.

love lots, claron.