How realistic and literal. God, that's when I love it the most. I loved the last stanza...it would end perfectly at one of my unreleased poems. *Looks around*
For some reason, this poem made me think of Chevrolet and myself...don't know why but sometimes your poems can put weird effects on me. And,
Hmm... this is exactly why I listen to my dad. *forgets why*
Nice job...
Now that i think of it, your style seems akwrd to me... no offence or anything but periods in the middle of the line of a stanza makes you breathe in the wrong places...
Tsk tsk tsk, this guy needs to stop eating sugar and slow down...
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. — Neil Gaiman
