This is the fourth chapter in the story I'm writing, and I hope you enjoy it. I highly appreciate grammar corrections or any tips on improving my plot or characters. Thank you so much.Chapter Four - Fear, and all its friends.
It seemed the perfect moment for Theo to say something meaningful, and perhaps the absolute worst to say something crude. But he didn’t say anything.
A warm breeze whirled my hair around my face. The only sounds were children in the background and our rusty swings squeaking in unison. I was almost waiting for him to say something startling and eloquent. I’d heard him come out with some pretty surprising things more than once now, always when the mood around us felt like this. But it didn’t sound like he was going to say anything, and we’d already had about five minutes of straight silence. If he wasn’t going to say anything significant and he wasn’t going to crack a wise-ass comment, what was going to happen?
“Have you cheated on all your girlfriends, then?” I blabbed unexpectedly.
He started swinging much harder, and his jaw clenched. “I haven’t cheated on Amy.”
“Amy's the only one?” I whispered, horrified, “Out of how many?”
He slowed down and nodded his head like he was counting in his mind. He hesitated before answering. “Eleven.”
I literally couldn’t stop my jaw from dropping. “How many of them did you, uh-”
“Fuck?” He suggested insensitively.
I flinched at his degrading choice of words. “Yes, Theodore. Fuck.” I replied through gritted teeth.
“Seven,” He admitted.
I didn’t even have a reply to that. I tried to remember how to say the words revolting, sick, and disgraceful, but no sound would come out. Seven? And those were the girls who were his girlfriends? I still couldn’t figure out if this other side of Theo was even real. With every time he opened his mouth, I really started to believe I’d made it up.
“And what about you?” He said out of the shattering silence. “How many guys have you done the nasty with?”
My teeth made a distinct grinding sound and now I starter swinging harder. Higher, and higher. “Was this really what you had in mind when you said ‘get to know each other’?”
He stopped swinging and a look of shock spread across his face.
“Oh my God Rory, are you a virgin?!” He bellowed across the entire playground.
Every face, human and not, turned their heads and glared at us. The only sound was the air winding its way around the motionless bodies. Mothers with strollers began to whisper, shaking their heads in disgust. Little children went to their parents and asked them what the ‘big kids’ had meant.
“You’re an asshole.” I whispered weekly and pulled myself off the swing.
My feet hit the ground hard as I stumbled away. I was half way across the yard when he decided to catch up.
“Hey, lighten up Lovett.” He tried to sound mellow, but it was very evident he was worried. He stumbled over his feet to catch up to me.
“Hey, lighten up Lovett,” I mimicked harshly as I marched, “My name is Rory. Ro-ry. I’ve had enough of you offending me for sport, okay?”
I ran outside the gate of the playground, but he followed. “That’s it! You see? Right there, that’s the old Rory. She wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself.”
I whirled around violently. He was standing mere inches away from me. “What is wrong with you?! You’re insensitive and selfish and arrogant, and then you’re nice? Make up your mind!” I hissed, breathing in and out heavily. “I have never been humiliated by someone like that in my life! Did you see the looks on those mothers' faces, Theo?
“God, just forget it. You don’t care.” I looked into his shocked blue eyes and sighed. “Okay, I have a proposition for you. You can do anything you like, Theo. Cheat on as many girls as you want. Just do it very, very far away from me. That sound good?”
I stood and waited for his reply, but, again, it never came.
I nodded slowly and pressed my lips together. “Okay, whatever. Bye.”
I turned and walked at a steady pace up the road. I was dying to get to my car, go home and forget this disaster ever happened. One foot at a time, I told myself. Forget about him. My week was ruined, and it was only ten thirty. Things sure were looking up.
“You know, I get it!” He yelled up the street. And then suddenly, and God only knows why, I stopped walking.
“What do you want?” I hollered.
“Turn around,” he said a few seconds later, and I felt the warmth from him on my neck and back. Every single hair on my body stood on end.
My jaw clenched and I whirled to face him. “What, Theo?” I asked, exasperated. When I looked up into his eyes, I saw the guy I knew four years ago.
“Yeah, I can be a jerk, and I’m not always in control of myself. But you knew that ten years ago, and it didn’t make a difference back then. You may think I’ve turned into this horrible guy, but the only difference between then and now is that I’ve had four years of life added on to me. That doesn’t mean I’m more of a jerk now, it just means I’m a seventeen year old guy who can be a jerk, rather than a thirteen year old one. If anyone is different, it’s you. But I looked past that because you’ve always been my favorite person in the world, and a few dents aren’t going to drive me away.”
“And?”
“And,” his eyebrows knitted together, thinking of something to say, “and I really want to be your friend again.”
“Why?”
“I guess,” he grinned weakly and looked down, “I guess it’s that I can’t get myself to stop thinking about you.”
“Cute, sport. Get that from a movie?”
“Question is,” he said, looking hopeful, “did it work ?”
I shook my head and began walking again. “Sorry.”
“Oh, I understand,” he said morosely, but fell into line next to me. “It was cheesy, but I meant it. I really can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Why? It’s been four years. Why now?”
I didn’t realize at the time that I wasn’t ready to hear the answer to that question. I asked without having the slightest clue just how hard the reply might hit me.
“It was the happiest time in my life,” he admitted, “If we forget about how we were, then what was the point of us meeting? If we never speak again, then all those perfect years were for nothing.” He continued as we passed the little bookstore again. “I didn’t want to let go of you, but I let it happen. We’re seventeen now, and I know we can’t just go back to the way it was, but it seems stupid to me to let the best friend I’ve ever had slip from my memory.” He smiled weakly.
“Wow,” I breathed, astonished.
“Yeah,” he sighed, mirroring my tone of voice, “So, what do you think?”
The sounds of our shallow breathing filled the air as I said the words that would inevitably change my life.
Monday came faster than expected. One moment the wind was dancing with my hair in a playground, and the next it was a new week and I was eating cereal and watching the morning news.
Nothing interesting was on. More suspected terror attacks, more suicide bombers, and more war. Ever noticed how there isn’t a news station that reports on anything good in the world; how all award-winning movies are slit-your-wrists depressing? It’s because it’s interesting. Who wants a happy ending, right? Sad sells; it’s a fact.
Theo managed to text me sixteen times on Sunday. He was quite determined to become the most irritating person alive. He’d been persistent like that since he was five years old; annoyingly passionate about anything he wanted to do. Clearly that hadn’t changed.
Mom stalked out of her room with a bath robe on. Again, she seemed surprised to see me awake to so long before noon.
“Morning,” she said without hint of a smile.
“Hey,” I replied, staring into my cereal.
Mondays brought the worst out of my mom. Dad used to take her out dancing on Mondays. Dad never could understand why Monday had to be the worst day of the week. He was determined to defy convention and make it the best. He was quirky like that.
Mondays reminded Mom how much she missed Dad and how much that was my fault. I didn’t blame her for resenting me. I was my fault he wasn’t here to kiss us goodnight anymore. I resented myself more than she possibly could.
She poured herself a cup of coffee and slumped in a stool. Her hair wasn’t as shiny as it normally was, and her eyes – my eyes – had lost their sparkle.
“Still going to school, then?” She asked icily.
“Don’t really have a choice,” I answered and took my bowl to the sink, “I’m going to go. You should get dressed.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, young lady. I am the mother here.”
“All I’m saying is you’re going to be late for work.”
She grunted noisily and fished for the last drops of coffee at the bottom of her cup. I hadn’t seen her this bitter in months. Usually she acted a little more like moms should, but every maternal drop of blood had been drained from her body, for today at least. Today, I was the monster who let her sweetheart die.
I prodded and poked my food at lunch. Goopy cheeseburgers and odd-colored fries. Had the school never heard of the concept of ‘healthy’?
I sat alone and stared at the ill-looking potato until my vision blurred. I didn’t dare look up. Theo was likely to be somewhere close, and I was not in the mood for his tiring chirpiness. Besides, if I suddenly did want to be drained of all my energy, he wouldn’t be hard to find. Just follow the trail of swooning girls, I thought. They’ll lead you straight to him.
“Rory!” My neck craned reluctantly. Theo stood three tables down, looking way too happy to see me. He nudged his head toward his table eagerly, signaling that I should join him and his friends.
I mouthed the words ‘go’ and ‘away’ very clearly and he laughed. He said something to his friends, and then, to my utter horror, all three of them picked up their trays and started towards my table.
I uttered a colorful array of swear words under my breath as they sat down. I was joined at my once peaceful table by Theo and his two best friends, Kyle and Sam.
“Hey, buddy,” Theo smiled his glimmering, perfect smile at me.
I raised my one eyebrow. “Buddy?”
“What’s up with you, grumpy boots?” He patronized childishly.
Before I could spit my reply in his face, some sophomore girls at the next table started whispering very loudly about Theo, and then me… and then Blakely. It wasn’t hard to pretend I hadn’t noticed, but what they said cut deep. I could tolerate people like them gossiping about my tragic life or my new loner status, but hearing them trash talk my dead best friend just hurt. It really hurt.
All the eyes at my table shifted to me. They’d heard them too. Sam lowered her eyebrows sympathetically and Kyle mouthed ‘sorry’. But Theo, like the uncultured wonder he was, turned around and confronted them.
“Hey girls,” Theo grinned, charm exuding from his very skin.
They all flushed and smiled, wide-eyed. “Hi Theo,”
His face suddenly went hard. “If I ever hear you say another word that is less than heroic about either Rory or Blakely again, I will see to it personally that you are socially murdered. Do you understand?”
The girls stared blankly for a second but then nodded frantically, looking almost as frightened as I felt flabbergasted.
“Blakely Dunham was killed a month ago,” Theo continued, and my heart tightened at the word ‘killed’, “But maybe you don’t understand fully what that means. She suffered for hours in agony for a couple hundred bucks. And this brave girl here was forced to watch her best friend die. I doubt any of you have ever had to experience that, and until you do, I strongly suggest you keep your opinions to yourself.”
A wave of what looked like offence and guilt washed over the four girls’ faces. All their eyes flickered to me and I immediately wished I could dig a hole and bury myself in it.
A few girls got up and walked over, huddling in a tight semi-circle around me. I was expecting them to start yelling in my face but, so very unexpectedly, they started apologizing. Telling me how sorry they were and how brave I was for sticking through all the things that had happened to me. It confused me because all the things they were talking about hadn’t happened to me. They had happened to my dad and to Blakely and to Jay.
One girl explained how people only gossiped about me because they were all envious of my bravery. They all knew that the next person secretly admired me, but they continued building the lies. They all seemed to agree.
Bizarre was the only word I could come up with. Truly, truly bizarre.
The rest of the day felt the tiniest bit lighter; the tiniest bit easier. Easy, well, that was not a word I often came by, and certainly not one I underappreciated. But for that little while, the tedious gossiping and inquisitive glances weren’t so overwhelming.
Why? I wish I knew…
From: Mother Dearest
Received at: 15:14 05/04/09
Please remember to go to Dr. Kessler today. 3:45. If I find out you never went, so help me Rory Lovett, I’ll go crazy.
I let out a strangled groan as I stuffed my books in my locker. Crazy? Really? It was a tad late for crazy. We passed crazy the day dad…
“Hey you,” Theo’s voice appeared from nothing as I slammed the door shut.
“Oh,” I jumped, my heart racing, “You scared me.”
“I have that effect on people,” he said and smiled, “I think it’s my lovable personality, and irresistible charm."
“Unlikely,” I scoffed under my breath.
“Sorry?” He asked, and leaned against my locker.
“Nothing,” I smiled politely and shrugged my backpack on, “See you around.”
“Oh, right,” he said, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. “See you, then.”
I started for the entrance, thankful to get away from his suffocating pull, but I stopped, regrettably feeling guilty just leaving him there.
“Hey,” I turned reluctantly, “Thank you.”
The right side of his mouth raised in a half-smile. “What for?”
“Standing up for Blakely at lunch,” I replied, shifting my weight from foot to foot.
He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “I stood up for you too, you know.”
“I didn’t deserve it,” I whispered to myself. And with that, went back in the other direction.
“Okay Rory, today I want you to take a leap. I’m not asking you to tell me how you feel, or how your day was. In fact, if you tell me this one thing, you can go home early.”
“Just like that?” I asked, staring somewhere out her huge wall-window.
“Just like that. All you have to do it tell me what happened.”
I sighed, frustrated and immediately let go of the thrill of perhaps being able to kick it early.
“Hey, hey now. I said no feelings. Plain facts.”
I fixed my eyes from the wall-window to her face. “I’m pretty sure you have a file that will tell you all that. I doubt my mother would have left out any of the gory details.”
“I’d rather hear it from you,” she said calmly, rolling her pen between her manicured fingers.
“Well, ain’t that swell,” I chimed, mocking her southern accent perfectly.
She smiled softly. “I ain’t asking you for much. I can only help people who want to be helped. And believe it or not, you wouldn’t be sitting on that there couch if you didn’t want my help.”
“I am here because my mom-”
“Your mama has nothing to do with it and you know it. You’re not scared of her, so what are you scared of? I’m not here to judge your life or criticize you, or put you in a pretty little labeled box. All I want is to help.”
“You honestly expect me to believe you haven’t read my file?”
“Yes, actually,” she said.
“Well, you’ve obviously thought about it. What do you think happened?”
“It’s not my place to make those sorts of guesses.”
“But if it were,” I drawled, wanting so badly to hear what she thought was wrong with me.
“If I guess wrong, will you tell me?”
I looked up, pretending to think about it. “Probably not, no.”
She smiled halfheartedly and squinted at me, analyzing. “Well, you’re very angry. Probably a coping mechanism for sadness or regret. My gut is telling me a messy divorce between your parents.”
I lowered the corners of my mouth and nodded like she was onto something.
“Oh no, that’s not it.” She studied my face for a few long moments. “You and your mama are distant, yeah? Pregnancy maybe?”
I rolled my eyes. God, this woman was a moron. What was my mother spending her money on?
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
“My boyfriend died, actually,” I said casually.
She looked down and pressed her lips together, clearly regretting her last question.
Anger began to bubble up inside me, both at myself and at this stupid woman. At myself for answering her questions, and at her for asking them. Talking about this was my biggest fear, and I hated how she was making me share it.
“And my best friend died. See how close you were?” I whispered, malice and sorrow and hatred and every other negative emotion spilling out of me.
Leigh’s eyes widened a little, taken aback by my sudden spur of emotion. She’d never seen me get worked up over anything.
“My dad died too, you clueless, clueless bitch. And surprisingly, since my boyfriend was murdered, I haven’t thought about fucking anyone. Imagine that! A teenager that isn’t actually pregnant.”
She opened her mouth, but I wasn’t done with my speech.
“My parents were madly in love with each other, just for your information, and now my dad’s dead. He’s gone, along with anything else I’ve ever loved. So no, Ma’am, my parents are not getting a divorce, and I sure as hell am not pregnant.”
My chest rose and fell hard, and she blinked. Blink, blink, blink.
“Rory, I-“
“Can I go?” I interrupted quickly.
“Oh,” she breathed, seeming shell-shocked. “Yes, yes, of course,”
So far you've given the readers enough clues to keep them drawn in, yet held back various facts that drive a reader on, which is a hard thing to do, and yet you've done it marvelously. Congrats on that 