Sturdy Tree

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Like a sturdy tree,
once tall.
As a study tree,
it falls.
Last edited by twilight tiger on Thu Jan 27, 2011 12:45 am, edited 3 times in total.
The road is full of many bumps and mounds; it's up to the strength of our heart and soul to be able to overcome them.




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You should review a bit more before posting...Please. 3:1 is a good ratio.
[quote]If it's arguable, then it probably is." - Xeriana X

Link to my will review for food thread: topic71713.html




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This poem has a great start to it, but the second verse kills the rest.

The repitition of 'like' carries on until half way through the second verse, which is when it breaks, and the mixed up rhythm in the last line of the second verse throws the reader off completely.

The references to growing and fading are nice, but I think the parts about 'friendship' and 'standing tall and proud,' seem out of place.

I like the theme and ideas, but it seemed like you jumped into the poem a little too soon, and therefore it ended up a little short and muddled. Next time try brainstorming a load of ideas first, and then picking out the ones that fit together.
We were born to be amazing.




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I sorta liked this, but it was a bit confusing. It didn't carry through the whole thing. It just kinda went off course. If you understand what i mean by that.
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.




Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
— Mark Twain