Paper Piano-Chap. Three

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Before you read this one, I suggest that you read Paper Piano-Chap. One and two. Enjoy!

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Logan and I sat motionless in the car, listening to the radio. He kept his eyes on the road, I kept mine out the window. I hated the friction between us. Why does he have to be so irrational? Why doesn’t he think? A sharp pain flew into my hands. I looked down to realize that my fingers had scraped the skin on my palm. I took a deep breath, trying to relax myself.

“What have you done now?” Logan asked parsimoniously.

“Nothing.” My jaw tensed as I gritted my teeth together.

He sped even faster, not paying attention to the road carefully enough. I grabbed an old cloth from the back of his car, not bothering to ask whether I could use it or not. I wrapped it around my palms, attempting to stop the bleeding I had caused myself to endure, then went back to staring out the window. I felt the tension between us grow thicker and thicker with each passing moment. Finally, he slowed down enough to pull into my driveway without giving me whiplash.

“There.” He said, keeping his eyes on the steering wheel.

“Are you coming over tomorrow?” I asked, trying to keep the acid out of my mouth.

“I don’t know. Do you want me to?” He asked, turning his head only so I could see his narrowed eyes. “I may do something fun.”

“Fine, Logan. I wanted to talk this out. But if your going to be like that, then don’t come.”
I slammed his car door shut then stomped to the porch, where I forced myself to calm down so I could sneak into my room. I hate fighting with him! I take back anything I said that made him upset. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Emma, you can deal with his little outings. You probably won’t get caught.
Once in my room, I ran to my window hoping to get a glance of his car before he drove away. For some reason, even though I was furious at him, I wanted him to be there. I never want to break up with him. I never want to leave him. His black BMW was still in my driveway. I squinted into the dark night, then realized he wasn’t in the car. I jumped when I heard my door open. Logan. His eyes were staring at the floor, but not in stubbornness this time.

“You left the front door unlocked.” He said, then turned around to walk away.

“Wait!” I shouted a little louder than I should have. He turned around, his eyes finally meeting mine without a hint of sarcasm or mockery. His ocean, blue, eyes were blood shot, and his lower lip trembled. I ran over to him, pulling him to me as tightly as I could. I rested my head on his toned chest, relaxing more and more every time I heard his heart beat.

“I’m sorry, Emma.” He said, as he tangled his hands into my hair. His breath swirled around me, making my heart beat fast enough for both of us.

“It’s okay, Logan. I am sorry I got so mad.”

“You had every right to be mad. I’m a jerk. I shouldn’t try to get you to do something that you don’t want to do.”

“That’s true. You shouldn’t,” I whispered, then pulled my face back to see his. “But I should learn to loosen up.”

“No. Don’t loosen your standards for me. This is why we are perfect for each other. Don’t you realize?”

I shook my head. What is he getting at?

“You make me raise my standards. You make me a better person,” he whispered.

“What about you? What do you do for me?” I rested my head back between his neck and shoulder, glad that our fight was over.

“Well, I’m not sure.”

“ I think I know why.” I said, as I felt him pull me closer to him.

“Hmm?” He whispered, his lips at my ear.

“I’m always trying to please everyone. You remind me that it’s okay not to be perfect. You remind me that I need to please myself, too.”

“See? That proves my point. We are perfect for each other, Em.”

“I love you. You do know that, right?” I lifted my head to look into his eyes. I want to look into these eyes everyday for the rest of my life.

“I love you too.”

His intoxicating presence overwhelmed me. I couldn’t get my heart to calm down, nor the butterflies in my stomach. He leaned down, and kissed my lips once, then untangled himself from me as he walked back through the door he had come. I followed him down the stairs to lock the door behind him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear you play at your piano recital.” He said, then kissed my forehead.
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others?"

-Thomas Jefferson




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Hiya! I'm here to critique your work. I'm loving the title!

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His ocean, blue, eyes were blood shot, and his lower lip trembled.

I think ocean blue is one word. There is no need for the comma. It'll be easier to read if you lose the one that's between ocean and blue [:

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That's all I found. You should be proud (: But I only find grammatical, punctuation stuff like that. This is really good. I am loving Logan. He's mysterious and that's always a good thing. I can't really say much about your dialogue and plot because I haven't read the other chapters, but this is really good.
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
-James Dean




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Loved it,like always!:D

But i think that here:

His intoxicating presence overwhelmed me. I couldn’t get my heart to calm down, nor the butterflies in my stomach. He leaned down, and kissed my lips once, then untangled himself from me as he walked back through the door he had come. I followed him down the stairs to lock the door behind him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear you play at your piano recital.” He said, then kissed my forehead.


you might add a bit more. It seemed a little bare, a little too abrupt of an ending. Maybe her father could walk in,or maybe after Logan leaves, Emma could daydream a litte....i dont know, it is your story lol
Other than that, great work!
'Don't fear death, Fear unlived life'



Excuse me I have never *lied* about a character I just don't tell the truth
— AceassinOfTheMoon