Weren't Meant To Be

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Gender Female
Points 1211
Reviews 2
Fell in love
Got up in hate
Should’ve know this guy was a mess from the first date
He was late
didn’t tell me I looked great
N Lord knows I did
But I thought to myself “ah that’s old folk stuff, were just kids”
Can’t believe we went on another and another after that
I recall him telling his friends that I was getting awfully fat
Love was blinding me from seeing what was really going down
It wasn’t until I looked deep in his eyes to find that no love was found
So I called him up and said this has to end
I swore he grinned
Before he said “I never wanted you anyways”
I knew it was the truth, a truth that would hurt for days
I can only be glad that the relationship didn’t sail in something worse
Instead the ship sunk, in only a week it was cracked and burst
We still cross ways I look at him, he looks at me
When we recoil and turn away I know truly it was never meant to be
The only fall that does not hurt: falling in l<3ve




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Gender Female
Points 12611
Reviews 321
I really like this and I understand it a lot. The only thing that I would say is that you need to cut down the long lines and maybe but them on another line.
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.





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looks better if written like this

Fell in love, Got up in hate
Wish I knew he was a mess from first date
He was late, didn’t tell me I looked great
And God knows I did


I just used God since it fits in perfectly :)

Pretty much learn to have a standard length for each line. Find a rhythm. A poem is like a song not sung but instead read :)
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Wow, I can totaly relate to that. I even understood it really well. It was nicely written and I loved it. Nice job :)
^^ RAWR ^^




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Gender Female
Points 240
Reviews 98
This is a poem. Technically.
I want you to do something for me. Read "Annabell Lee" by Poe. Now I don't expect you to be as good a Poe, but examine the feelings in the poem.
This poem was... boring. Unless they had direct experience with a relationship of this kind, it held no interest for the reader.
Don't get me wrong, it could have been good, but the problem was it had no climax. Anything is boring if it has no climax.
Example:

Bob went sky diving. All went well.

Even though sky diving is in itself, exciting, just like a relationship. If there is no climax, it doesn't hold your attention. If, however it went something like this, it would be more interesting to the reader.

Bob went sky diving. As he jumped, the shoot failed to open all the way. He had to wrestle with it in mid air. Finally he got it open! All went well.
Those who dance are thought insane by those who don't hear the music.
Those who fit well into their world don't generally go about changing it.




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Gender Female
Points 2082
Reviews 13
This is a poem that I'm sure many people can relate to. I thought it was very good, I could feel your emotion through your words. But the lines are pretty long. Maybe you could put a few more commas here and there or just start a new line. But other than that, it was really good and I enjoyed it.
["People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go." ]



Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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