Bliss

Verse 1

Bliss

Bliss is still living in her home town

She is 29, feels 18 and is living in the lost and found

She has seen a lot of life

But it has washed off over time

And now it feels like she is falling

Chorus

Bliss needs something to hold onto

Something real

Whether it’s substance or a person

She does not care

And she feels she is far from anything or anywhere

And she does not know how to live

A life she gave up on

Many years ago

Verse 2

Bliss has blue eyes and blond hair

A pretty girl with a shadow over her head

That won’t go away.

She has a tendency to lie

And she does not know

She needs to hide behind something

Chorus

Bride

And one day she will get out

Of the lost and found

But it will be one day to late


Chorus 2x

Fade out

Obviously I cannot give a full review to these lyrics without the music, but I can try, can't I?
Anyways, Bliss is not a normal girl's name, so I'm speculating that you're speaking about bliss itself, am I right? No, shush, don't tell me, let me think. And if Bliss is bliss, then why must she hide and act so emo? Also, about that one line "She has seen a lot of life" reminds me of "Ignorance is bliss": she's seen a lot of life, and is thus not ignorant, but in becoming said term 'un-ignorant' she has lost her bliss, leaving her nothing but the name: Bliss.
I'm probably way off track, but correct me on my points here. Another things is that it doesn't seem to flow (a fact that would be greatly altered with the music) nor rhyme.
Always ready to review!
~Jenthura

Heya Vera.

I liked the Bliss aspect you had going on here. The chorus was more difficult for me to grasp than the verses; it seemed a bit like you had resorted to solutions too simple and safe. Chorus part of a song should be something catchy – of course, with a good melody you can do wonders, but the lyrics shouldn't be left in the shadow of the tune.

I would suggest making the thesis of the song even clearer. Make everything more connected with each other, you know? The idea is interesting, though, and I think it would work even better with some expanding, especially the part after the last chorus. It would be nice to hear this with music.

See you around!


Demeter
x

I like this idea but I'm not totally sure if there is enough, i know some of the troubles that she's going through, what she looks like and what she needs, but I think "bliss" is missing something. I would like to see some more background, more about her, like a storyline of something she went through, why does she have a shadow over her head? Hope thinks helps and makes sense.

This sort of reminds me of Lily Allen's song (I forget the name) about your life being considered over by others when you are only in your 20's.

Not a fan of her music but I did like this song.

However I do feel it is never too late