You Never Loved Me.

This was really good. The grammar was brilliant! The words were good too. The lenght is...yet another good thing about it! LoL. It was good anywho. I liked it and I think that a lot of people will be able to relate with this poem so props to you!

Hey there

You never loved me. I don't agree with Sasha. I think this line is good. Granted, I think it would have been better at the end, but that's just my opinion.

Whisper it in my ear.
I’m waiting. I don't think there are enough syllables in the middle two
lines. Something about it doesn't flow correctly. May find a way to
add one syllable?
Tell me the secret
I’ve been dying to hear.

I watch the earth spin,
Creating circles around my head.
Not knowing how to open up
Or what to do when you get in.

Tell me in your sweet voice, With your sweet voice?
So I can grin from cheek to cheek.
I chose you, my darling;
You gave me no other choice.

I knew it was the wrong decision.
You wanted it before I was ready; I don't think the semicolon is applicable here
But, how could I say no?
Our hearts beat in perfect collision.

You leave my bedroom,
Silence in the air.
Pulling on your jacket,
Leaving me the worst to assume.

Tell me those words of two. I don't understand this line...?
Turn around, come back to bed.
Stroke the hair upon my head,
And whisper “I love you.”

You have a very strong beginning and end, which is always a good thing This is very well written. Besides the few nitpicks, I enjoyed it a lot

~^~Chelsea~^~

The rymeing doesn't flow very well. If you had wanted to ryme it should have gone onto the end. For example:
The little black cat wore a fuzzy green hat, a fuzzy green hat is what he wore,
With a rug and a rat that a little black cat will be able to open many new doors!!


{That was just an example, not a real poem!}

Whisper it in my ear.
I’m waiting.
Tell me the secret
I’ve been dying to hear.

I watch the earth spin,
Creating circles around my head.
Not knowing how to open up
Or what to do when you get in.

Tell me in your sweet voice,
So I can grin from cheek to cheek.
I chose you, my darling;
You gave me no other choice.

I knew it was the wrong decision.
You wanted it before I was ready;
But, how could I say no?
Our hearts beat in perfect collision.


You leave my bedroom,
Silence in the air.
Pulling on your jacket,
Leaving me the worst to assume.

Tell me those words of two.
Turn around, come back to bed.
Stroke the hair upon my head,
And whisper “I love you.”






this was a good poem, but it wasn't a perfect poem.
I mean it just didn't have that poetic quality, maybe bcoz of you're ABCA rhyme scheme.
But yes, it still served its purpose well.
I could clearly see the emotion behind the poem.
And it was good.
keep up the good work.

----
The Scorpion King;
With A deadly Sting!