Ella
XOX
It was raining.
Jake was sprinting across the square towards the guildhall, so I slowed. I didn’t want to face the awkwardness of Phoebe and Jake in a wet, confined space, with almost no one else around. Phoebe ran ahead of me, to join Jake in the Guildhall; her usually wild red hair plastered to the back of her school jumper
I looked around to see if there was anyone else I knew in the almost deserted square. This was a small town, and even Daisy would be a more welcome sight than Phoebe and Jake, now. There was only one group of people in the square; I squinted through the rain. All I could see was their heights: tall, maybe my age or older, and the faces of those nearest to me.
Then I recognised him. And my heart stopped.
I stood in the rain, staring. I was unaware of my bag, as it fell to the wet concrete floor with a thump. I was unaware of my shirt, which was probably going see through in all the rain. I was unaware of Jake and Phoebe, half watching me from the shelter of the Guildhall, half watching each other. All I could see was Theo.
He was walking across the square, parallel to me. I could barely see him through the early morning mist, and the drizzling rain. He was with an indistinct group of people. They all looked vaguely familiar: I recognized Finn and Josh amongst them, their blonde hairstyles standing out amongst the sea of dark others. They were now reaching the other side of the square, and I could barely see them.
Without really deciding too, I picked up my phone. I scrolled down the contact list until I found the number I wanted, and I pressed call.
On the other side of the square, he picked up his phone.
I recognised the ring tone; it brought all those memories flooding back in such a rush I could barely stand. Times in Venice; riding through canals, hiding in Museums, and that awful moment in the changing rooms.
He picked up. At the end of the line; I heard his voice.
“Tessie?” His voice. I remembered it so well; I wanted to sob with relief. He was here; it was him; he had picked up the phone across the square, halting in his walk.
“Tess, are you there?”
And then I said it. I answered the question. I accepted the call. I told him where I really was and what I was doing. All in those two words that I would remember for the rest of my life.
“Look left.” My voice hitched on the last word.
He spun around in the square, and I saw his face. I dropped the phone, it didn’t matter anymore. At that moment, nothing mattered. I vaguely recollect Phoebe calling me, ‘Tess’, telling me something about the rain. I didn’t care.
We stood there for a whole minute, just staring. His friends had stopped further ahead, and were looking back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Finn wave his hand, unsurely. It was so… so Finn that I almost had to laugh. I smiled at him. And then at Theo. His returning smile made my whole body seem to melt. And then I knew.
It didn’t matter how far away I kept myself from him, whatever I made him think, I loved Theo. I loved him with every ounce of love I was capable of holding in my body, and I was going to love him until I died. Quitting my gift, ignoring his, leaving my old friends, none of it had been helping me move on.
Suddenly he was beside me, smiling down at my face. He wiped a tear from my eye: it was black.
“I love you, Tess.” He whispered, his hand still resting on my cheek, “I love you.” Tears flowed freely down both of our faces now. He took me in his arms, holding me fiercely, tightly, as if never to let go. I never wanted him too. I love you, I whispered again and again into his chest. It was as if there had been a hole inside me, no, not a hole, a huge great abyss, filled with black thoughts and desperate feelings, and only now was it starting to fade. I could feel in myself, the strength returning, my mind clearing, sharpening, my memory being reborn, and my heart tripling in size. I could see, once more, as if from an outsider’s view, the situation I had been in.
After what seemed like ages, he let go, and held me at arms length.
“What happened?” he asked, “I thought I lost you. You never answered my calls. I called Annie and Chee and Milo and everyone else I could remember; and none of them knew where you had gone. Who were you with just now?”
“Phoebe. And Jake.” I remembered. They seemed distant now. Their moral friendships had never really replaced the deep, meaningful ties I shared with Annie, Chee, Milo, Harry, Lilly, Lu, and Pixie. I missed Pixie so much.
“Why?” he asked, and I knew instantaneously the question he was asking. And for the first time since I had left my old life as Tessie; and become Tess, I knew the answer to the question, ‘Why?’
“Because I loved you.”
And apparently, that was all I needed to say.
“I love you, too.” I hadn’t realised how empty his eyes were, until that look vanished, to be replaced by a burning, constricting fire. I knew, then, that his gift had been absent from him as long as mine had been from me.
He kissed me.
It was like standing behind Nevada Falls again. I could almost feel the rush of water beside us, the stone beneath our feet, the excitement and danger as he kissed me so fiercely, within reach of such power.
The kiss lasted for several minutes; and then he pulled back. He looked at me with an apologetic expression.
“What?” I asked, impatiently.
“I singed your hair a little.” He fingered a strand, “And you dyed it.” His mouth turned down.
“I didn’t.” I said, solemn as ever, and he understood the incredible effects that losing my power had had on me. He opened his mouth.
“Don’t say it.” I put a finger on his lips. He wasn’t apologising to me ever again.
