the feelings you have for the one you like\love

thinking of you

my mind starts to wander every day about you
thinking of what it would be like to hold ur hand
to feel your touch
to just sit next to you
lonely is i
for i have no one to hold
no one to love near me
to caress thier face
my heart feels like it is in a different place
and it is
it belongs to one that is mindless to the fact of it
my heart doesn't seem to recognize my feelings
maybeh it is just rejecting the feeling after all the past loves i have had
the past pains
this one might not be much different then before i guess
the same distance
the same longing to be with them
but the excitement is golden
the love you feel for the person
i would give it up for nothing
nothing in the world would i replace it for
my heart belongs to one that i think of every day
the times we have talked
the blushes i can just amajine crossed her beautiful face
and me
sitting there loving her in a way no other could ever love her
but the distance
it would be taking on too much
for you
i would endure all the pain in the world just so you wouldn't have to
i'd sacrafice my heart and give it to you on a silver platter
when in love you do crazy things for the person
and i would do just about anything for you my darling
your my world
the beauty in this world
my emotions are a mixture of love, hate , envy, longingness, lust, and pure soul
and the hate is that i can't be with you
that i can't hold your fragile hand in mine
it diggs a even deeper hole then ever before

First Impressions

Punctuation, punctuation, punctuation! This poem is begging you to punctuate it properly. It's on it's hands and knees!

In all seriousness though, this poem is in dire need of some punctuation. Without it it's just one insanely long runon sentence, and my poor brain can't take it.

Secondly, never, ever, ever, use chat speak in poetry. "ur"?! are you serious? That's simple laziness on your part. It gives me the impression that you don't even care enough about this piece to spell out your words, so why should I as a reader care enough to read it?

Also, I suggest capitalizing your "I's", it goes along with the laziness thing.

Content

The main problem with this poem is that it drags on and on and on, and it never really goes anywhere. It's the same idea repeated over and over again without any purpose. The lack of poetry in this poem is painfully apparent.

I suggest focusing on one central idea or image, and building off of that. Create an image of something that the reader can relate to or even just recognize. Right now you're doing a lot of "telling" but as a reader I don't want to be told about your love... cause honestly I don't really care all that much. I need you as a writer to create something tangible, something that I can feel with you. Give me an image, make me want to cry or laugh with you. Simply telling me all of these things isn't enough, you need to give us more.

If I were you, I'd break this poem down, tear it apart, take one idea from it and start all over again.

Hope this helps,

OverEasy

This is a nice poem but it does feel like if its dragging on and on. Listen to OverEasy about the chatspeak trust me I have been eaten alive because of that on many occasions.
I felt like I needed to know a bit more about this person and why they made you feel the way they did.Maybe some variety also