Rings

Two silver rings.
But which to choose? One holding,
the chances of an adventurous life, or
a gruesome death. The other,
grants only life, average at best.
Only one with a chance of reprisal,
for the betterment of my hungry greed;
only one with any potential stability.
Both pulling for their way,
both shining their familiar temptations,
but I had chosen already in my mind,
though I did not wish to acknowledge it.

Two silver rings.
I stared at them; one ring foreshadowed a
silver barrel and from it hung the,
fulfilling trigger, and beside it a
velvet red box of engraved bullets.
They read the name I’d be,
selling my soul to, but only if I
chose their predecessor, the ring.
And the latter of two, shone just as bright and
had armored my finger for many years, but
while they both had compensations and
shortcomings, I had in fact already chosen.

Your user name caught my attention, im writting a book called Dream-caster and also is this a book or the beginnings of one I have to say its pretty awesome but if your going to write something worth publishing you'll need to put all your time into it... and if this isnt a book pretty much everything I just wrote dosent really imply

This is really well done. It flows very well and the imagery is beautiful done.
It's very insightful and has a good ending that leaves the reader satisfied

Hey Dream-Catcher!! Nice poem, very Robert Frost-ish, if you know what I'm talking about. I enjoyed the read, you have a nice flowing vocabulary and a pretty smooth style.

I'm guessing your inspiration was the Robert Frost poem, Road Not Taken, but I could be wrong...

I like the ring idea and the choice idea, but the rings seem pretty complex. How does the narrator know so much about these rings, what gave them the position to predict the future, what made each one so powerful that it could alter the future. It's clearer in the Road Not Taken, as the narrator uses a metaphor that can easily explain this, but the ring idea is not clear at all. So really, the main question is, "Why the rings?" Rings can't hold that much significance, or if they do, you need to go more in-depth.

And the latter of two, shone just as bright and
had armored my finger for many years,

• This line drifts in and out of different tenses. You're describing what would happen if you chose that certain ring, but then when you say "had armoured my finger," you make it sound like it already happened. If you make it "And would armour my finger..." you're staying in the right tense.

In all this was an OK poem, beautiful language and flow, but unclear concept.

Peace, Love and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody

Hey!

This is a really good poem, the contrast is there and I get it.(sometimes I don't) The hard decision before you is difficult and in trying to make a decision, yo ufind you already had chosen. That hit me really hard once I read it.

Keep writing!!!
Teddy