Two: Jamie
I pressed into him, my face in his chest, breathing in his scent. His scent reminded me of a cabin in the woods, gloomy days spent in a cozy house with a fireplace, and a woody smell. He reminded me of hot chocolate with best friends, and mostly, just love.
“Are you ready? Rachel and Kess are probably hiring private detectives already to come and find us. We should really find them before they blow too much of their life savings on us.” It was the day after I’d decided to bring Denny with me on our family’s move. And by family, I meant my dad, my little sister and I. We had been at a small party with my best friends and all of Denny’s closest school friends. But, they’d all gotten drunk, of course, and so Denny and I had checked on them to make sure they’d be alright, and then escaped outside to the balcony, with the stone and wood outdoor fireplace to my back, heating me up. It balanced out the extreme heat and sexy coolness I felt when Denny’s breath snaked up from his lips and into my nostrils.
I grinned into Denny’s chest. “Oh, Denny. How could I ever have imagined leaving you?”
“I don’t know, you crazy, adorable girl. Lucky for both of us, though, you lucked out and I put my invincible eyeball-lust charm on you. No one can resist the Denny-Charm. It’s just impossible.”
I laughed. “Oh, really? You wish, you wild, gorgeous boy.” I smiled at him, smelling the mix of his naturally sweet, slightly spicy, and a touch minty breath. My insides melted. I shivered and he took his finger and traced the outline of my face, then my nose, then my lips. He kissed me, gently, then ran his hand through my hair.
“I love you, Jamie. I know I’ve said it before, but I mean it so much right now. I’d do anything you asked right now, honestly. I love you, I love you, I love you. With all my heart.”
I smiled at him. “I love you too, Denny—Jake. Whoever you are, you mysterious, sexy boy. Oh, and did you say anything?” I wasn’t good at seducing men, particularly Denny, who made me catch my breath just by smiling at me, but I was pretty sure that was as obvious as you could get without being totally blunt. But the great thing about Denny was that he didn’t care. As long as I loved him, he was perfectly content with whatever else came after that. Even if what I had to offer wasn’t as up to par as most other girls, he was still one-hundred percent satisfied.
He smiled, but I could see his eyes were slightly troubled. “What is it, Den?”
“It’s nothing. Come on, let’s go. We need to get back to the party, or your friends will never forgive me.”
“Tell me. Please, Denny.”
He looked at me for a while, then shook his head and said. “It’s not a big deal, really. It’s just…well, I feel really bad for telling you not to call me my nickname anymore. But you probably think it’s because I didn’t want you to be close to me anymore. But, baby, that’s not it! I promise you. It’s just…I was playing with the idea of you calling me Jake, for a while now. Because I was thinking, maybe, our names would sound…I don’t know. More in unison, I guess, if they both started with the same letter. And if you were going to leave—I needed to hear you say it to me, at least one time. So that I could, you know—commit it to memory, and I’d always remember what I was missing.”
I stared at him for at least a minute, trying to process all this information, and the love that his words meant. Then I smiled. I couldn’t do anything else. He was just so sweet. I kept smiling and then I kissed him softly. “We should get back, Den—baby—Jake.”
He smiles. “Yes, my love. We should.”
All in all, another very well-written part, with basically the same issues as the first. You're focusing too much on the romantic aspect of everything, and it's getting to perfectly mushy-gushy. Right now, there's too little conflict. Have the two fight! Have some external force put strain on their relationship (a parent, or sibling, or weather-- whatever!). 
