April

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Thanks to everyone who helped me out on the first part of my novel. You guys are so great! I love the feeling you get when you know other people are supporting you! :D

After school, Shay and I crossed the street to get to North Ridge where Kale was waiting for us. He desperately wanted us to meet his new pal, Heath a.k.a The Guy Who Almost Murdered Another Guy. Shay was excited. I wasn't.

The grounds at North Ridge were way different than at Saint Helena's. There was litter everywhere, uncut grass, and students sitting on top of the brick walls smoking cigarettes. Needless to say, I wasn't used to it. I supposed I would fit in better here, but Mom insisted I go to Saint Helena's for high school with Bethany. After The Divorce, she was all about loving Jesus and making my life miserable. I wanted to go to the normal high school with my normal friends, but that just wasn't happening. The only good to come out of this was Shaylee. Plus I've never done anything shitty enough to get into North Ridge.

"Shaylee! April!"

Kale was standing near the front doors of the school, waving at us like a maniac. A taller guy was standing next to him trying to avoid getting hit in the face. I could only guess that it was the infamous Heath. Funny. He didn't look the type to attempt murder.

"Kale!" Shay squealed, running to her boyfriend with her arms outstretched. God... didn't they see each other two hours ago?

I took my time walking over to join the three of them. Shay was staring at Heath like he was a shiny toy she just for Christmas. I tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"This is my girlfriend, Shaylee Dunham," Kale introduced her. Next was me. I stood strong. "And this is her good friend, April Lincoln."

Heath raised an eyebrow. "Vince's daughter."

It wasn't a question, so I decided not to answer. I did remember how Dad liked his students referring to him by his first name. So they could feel more comfortable being around him, or something. I wasn't up to date with student-teacher relations.

"So are we still up for tonight?" Shay asked.

"You betcha!" Kale replied vaguely sounding like a drunken cowboy.

While the two of them chattered about their plans for the evening, Heath continued to stare at me, and I continued to stare at the overgrown grass. My stomach was performing elaborate back-flips and hand springs, causing me to feel nauseous. I took out my Zippo. It felt cool in my hands.

"You got a Zippo?" Heath asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah," I replied. Beside me, Kale and Shay were in their own little world. "Problem?"

Heath smiled, and laughed to himself. He was amused. At me.

I hated being laughed at. Sure sometimes I got to be a little ditsy! And sure sometimes I went on and on about Andrew Campbell! But goddammit I will not be made fun of by a stupid delinquent!

"Shay," I said icily. "I'm leaving."

"So soon, Miss Lincoln?" Heath asked, suppressing a smile. I felt my face flush.

I turned sharply, my heel digging into the dirt. My blond hair whacked me in the face as I stalked off the grounds, muttering swear words under my breath. I was half-way up the street when Shay caught up to me, panting.

"What...the...hell?" she managed to spit out.

"Holy shit!" I said releasing my anger to the world. Two old women waddling beside us looked horrified, reminding me of Bethany and her minions when Shay attacked them with profanities.

"Why did you storm off?" Shay asked.

I smiled apologetically at the old geezers. My brain was malfunctioning. Instead of running on quiet cynicism, it was running on pure hate. That only happens when I see my adulterous mother.

"I was pissed!" I said because it was the truth and I was in the mood for telling Truths. "He thought I was funny!"

"Last time I checked that was a good thing," Shay said flatly. Obviously the running didn't take away her sarcastic attitude.

"Not if it's a North Ridge guy." I said the last three words like it was horrible disease and dog poo all rolled into one.

"Why do you have this grudge against them?" she asked.

It suddenly occurred to me that I never directly explained by hatred toward North Ridge to anyone. If I told my dad he would be heartbroken. And I've never told Shay. Even if I did tell her, it would be some lame excuse.

That was one Truth I would never tell.

"Look," Shay sighed, combing her long fingers through her silky, black hair. "I don't even care why you hate them. Just don't explode around my future husband and baby maker."

"Fine."




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This is really good! I liked it even better than the first chapter!!

When you had written, "Holy shit!" I said releasing my anger to the world. Two old women waddling beside us looked horrified, reminding me of Bethany and her minions when Shay attacked them with profanities. I laughed out loud! That was really funny. =]

Over all, you're really good at imagery, and the characters are interesting to read more about. The relationship between Kale and Shay is exactly what is going on between two of my friends, so I can relate at how annoying it is. It actually makes the story funnier!

I can see a little somethin' happening between Heath and April, here. The fact that he is maybe-sort of a murderer makes it really interesting to figure out more about him. And also, now we know that April has a secret as to why she has this grudge of North Ridge people. I'm excited to figure that out!

You're definitely on your way to creating a great novel! Keep writing! =]

- girlwithquestions




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i totally agree, haven't been on for a while but this was great. Better than some books I've read. I love the imagery you use. April kinda reminds me of me. It's great how you get people to feel sumit for your characters, if you dnt write more I will cry!!!

Lovin your work
Brown Eyed Girl x



constant state of confuzzle
— Quillfeather