I am scared. Running like hell and scared. I seem to be running away from the fact that people have it so much worse than I do. I am finding it harder and harder to find that little thing every day that keeps me smiling. You, see I have a story, like so many other people, that begins with life. How we seem to miss the little moments in it because we are too preoccupied with looking at the bigger picture.
My name is Sabrina Thompson. I am height challenged, with short golden brown hair, glasses and a bad complexion. Oh, and I am pre-diabetic. This is not going over well with my parents.
My mother and father got a divorce when I was six. I don't want pity. I want people to know that i know that I can't change it. My mother married a year later to my step- father, Mark. My father is engaged for the second time. My mother has the house and more custody, causing my dad to find a new place to live every once in a while. He has moved my sister and I over 11 times when we stay with him. Each house better, and worse.
My mother and step- father aren't easy to please. My mother is 4.10" and overweight. Sometimes I think that she is trying to live her life through me. She was overweight when she was little and now that she has a chubby daughter it seems like she is trying to show her mother that she can do something healthy. So I suffer.
The thing that bugs me about this whole weight fiasco is that it's never enough. They have given me a personal trainer and put me on diets. I have gotten healthier. They don't see it. They don't get that they're hurting me. There hasn't been weeks that I don't cry myself to sleep one night for a long time.
My friends. They are my life. I love them. but for a while I find it hard to believe that they love me back. Hormones are my blame for this one. I am very moody. This causers tons of fights. That and some of my friends like don't like each other. Most of my friends are impossible to please. I miss being a kid where I don't fight.
My big socializing place is church. Youth groups to be exact. I have to close guy friends there. Max and Jacob. They're eighth graders. Jacob is my hero. He is my shoulder to cry on. Now more than ever I need him. Yet sadly it feels like he isn't here. It seems to me that he has moved on.
My father. Erik Thompson. He is tall and bulky, and funny too. Yet with everything else in my life I haven't really laughed with him in a long time. He has lost his job. found a new one and is trying as hard as ever to keep it. I graduate in two days. He can't be there. All of these things scare me.
My father, friends, family, life. I seem to have a hard time seeing what I think is missing. LOVE.
