This is the draft for the first chapter of my new novel-project "Mrs Jones".
There will probably be more added to the chapter as the story unfolds itself.
Well, anyway, I'd appreciate feedback and any form of tips.
Hope you like it. It's becoming more and more of my baby as I write
Bet you know what I mean. Well, enough of the mumbo-jumbo.Enjoy!
XOXO Liz
CHAPTER ONE:
WEDDING INVITATION
Mr. David Jones & Miss Allison Potter are pleased to invite you to their wedding on April 5th. Please return the form included, if you are attending or not, by January 19th.
Amanda read the wedding invitation for the thirteenth time, not believing what it said. It had to be a joke she thought. I did seem like the sort of prank David would have pulled. Amanda smiled. It definitely had to be a joke. And when she thought about it, it was actually quite funny. David getting married? Yes, it was most definitely a joke. She laughed.
“What’s so funny?” a voice asked. Amanda jumped not expecting anybody. She turned around. “Katie, you’re back!” Amanda got up from the couch and hugged her.
Katie and Amanda had shared a flat for three years, and they had become the best of friends instantly. She had recently been to Greece with her boyfriend for two years, Lucas Dillon.
“So, what’s so funny then?” she asked again.
“This,” said Amanda, showing her the invitation.
“Oh, yeah, I got that too. How romantic, ey’? A wedding!” Katie stood smiling, staring in the air.
Amanda looked at her in disbelief. It would have to be real if others had gotten the invitation too. But then…
“Oh, hang on,” Amanda said smiling to Katie. “He’s got you in on it as well, hasn’t he?”
“In on what?” Katie looked puzzled. “Amanda, what are you talking about?”
“The wedding-prank!” Amanda still looked just as puzzled, if not more.
“The what-prank? Isn’t there gonna be a wedding?”
Amanda didn’t know what to think. If this really was a prank, Katie was doing her part very convincing. But normally she was a terrible actor.
“So, there really is a wedding?” she whispered to Katie.
“Yes, I believe so, seeing as we’ve got our invitations already…”
Amanda started to breathe heavily and fell back down on the couch. “But, h-he ca-can’t be marrying her! She’s h-horrible!” Amanda stuttered feeling tears pressing in her eyes.
“Honey, this was never a surprise was it? They have been dating for quite a while.” Katie put her coat on the floor and sat down beside Amanda, stroking her back. Amanda put her head in her hands, while she thought back to that dreadful May-morning four years ago.
“I’ve got a girlfriend. I’ve got a girlfriend!” David was shouting, running against Amanda who were sitting on their patio, sunbathing. Marcus and Matthew came outside to see who was making all the fuss.
“I’ve got a girlfriend now!” David said to the two boys while he made one of his very poor robot-dances. “Wow, man. Congrats!” Marcus said patting him on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” said Matt. “So, what she like? Blind?”
“Haha, you little joker!” David answered, punching him lightly. “She’s absolutely perfect!”
Amanda was lost for words. She just kept staring at him in disbelief. “David, with a girlfriend? David, in love with somebody else?” Amanda’s mind was rushing through all different thoughts and emotions.
“But it was you and me,” she thought to herself. “You promised, it was us that were supposed to end up together! David and Katie Jones. Not David and what’s-her-name Jones. It didn’t fit as well.”
“Her name is Allison.” David said, almost reading Amanda’s mind. “Allison Potter.”
“Not the billionaire’s daughter?” Marcus asked him.
“Yeah, that’s her.” You could clearly hear the proudness in David’s voice.
“But she is perfect!” Matt said, looking both shocked and impressed. “Well, done!”
David nodded smiling. “So, I thought I’d bring her over for dinner tomorrow. So you all can get to know her. Is that OK?”
“Yeah, and she’s welcome to bring some of her billionaire girlfriends!” Matt said grinning. Marcus nodded in agreement.
“Amanda?” David looked at her slightly worried. She had been staring out in the air the entire time since David had gotten there. “Amanda, are you ok?” He waved his hand and front of her eyes.
“What?” she said, a little too loud.
“Welcome back.” Matt said.
“Are you OK?” Marcus looked worried.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Amanda shrugged not understanding why they all seemed so worried.
“So, is it OK, then?” David asked again, almost bouncing of the ground in excitement.
“What?”
“That I bring Allison over tomorrow for dinner? Seriously, how far away were you?”
“But, it’s Saturday tomorrow!”
“Yes, it is…?” David looked at her with a question in his eyes.
“We always spend Saturday nights in together. Just us four.” Amanda said explaining. Trying not to sound obviously hostile.
“Amanda, I know, but I really want you all to meet her. She’s so great! You’ll love her, I promise.” He looked at her with his big blue eyes wide open, and his mouth pouted.
Amanda sighed and knew she could never resist that beautiful face that was standing above her.
“Fine,” she said, getting up and closing her book. “Does she like pizza?”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” David said hugging her tightly.
Her heart beat faster as he did this, like every time he was in the same room as her. She knew that they had known each other forever but it still seemed like something special whenever they were alone together.
“Ok, ok, calm down. I’m not your mum. You could’ve had her over even if I didn’t want to.” She said pushing him gently away.
“I know. But you are special to me, and I respect your opinion!”
“And you’re the only one of us that can cook!” Matthew said blinking to Amanda.
Amanda knew this was the major reason that she needed to be there, but she knew David well enough to know that he would be hurt if she wasn’t there to meet his new girlfriend. And Amanda could never hurt David, that much was for certain. And even though she didn’t want to meet Allison Potter, rich or not, she could never let David down like this, no matter how much it might hurt.
It wasn’t like she never had had a boyfriend before. But it had never been anything near the relationship that she had with David, and they were just friends. The other guys were no competition to David. He was the perfect man in her eyes, and she was sure that that would never change.
“Yeah, well, that’s no secret that you’re the cook in the household, but I really need you there.” he grinned holding on to her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t overdo it now, Dave” she said pushing away his arms from her shoulders. It was too close. Too intense.
He let her go still smiling. And before he let go of the eye contact, she could see that this really meant a lot to him.
“Game of Fuss-ball, lads?” he skipped over to the living room entrance to the patio where Matt and Marcus were still standing.
“Yes!” Marcus said going inside with him.
Amanda sighed deeply and whispered to herself. “And now I have to cook for the little princess!” She shaked her towel a little harder than normal and when she turned around she saw that Matt was still standing in the doorway.
“Amanda, are you OK?” he asked her looking slightly concerned.
“What? Yeah, of course.” She shrugged, and tried to look as if nothing happened.
“So, what did the towel do to you?” He smiled to her, but his eyes were still worried.
“Oh, nothing. There was just some dirt on it that was hard to get off.” She said lightly as she folded her towel and put her book on top.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, of course. Now aren’t you gonna join the other lads?”
“Yes. But you have to play as well; otherwise the teams’ll be uneven.” He put his hand across her shoulder as they walked in. “And you’ll be on my team, so we can beat the shit out of the other guys, sounds good?”
Amanda laughed. “Yes, ‘cause that’s even teams, we’re the best ones.”
“Well, we have to team up sometime though.” He shrugged again, showing that he thought that David and Marcus just had to deal with it.
Amanda was easily convinced. It would feel good to be sure to win, and to beat David.
Normally it was Amanda and David against the twins, which made the chance of winning around 50/50.
“Yeah, I’ll be right out. Just gonna change and put these away.” She showed him the towel and book again.
She went across the hall and up the stairs that lead to her room. She put the towel on a beautiful old chest by the window that she had inherited from her Grandma who had past away just six months ago. She put the book on her nightstand, and opened her closet, found her favorite red dress and pulled it over her head.
When she closed her closet again she was fighting tears, unsuccessfully. She sat down on her bed putting her head in her hands, letting go of the fight. Her tears flowed down her cheeks like little rivers. She sat like this for a moment, before she stood up, dried away her tears with her thumbs, and looked at herself in the mirror.
Her small, brown eyes were a little red, but nothing that the guys would notice. She pulled her long, brown, wavy hair out of the ponytail, taking main focus off her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths, placed a smile on her face, and went downstairs.
:
but I don't think you need the she thought after joke and I should be it. 
Right now the bulk of the story is dialogue. That's fine, but it's good to have other elements in the story as well, such as description! This will make the story seem a bit more real, giving the readers the whole picture, etc. Be careful, though, because too much description can be the downfall of a story. If you need some more information, here are some articles that I always refer to: 
PM me if you have any questions.
