Sorry that its so long, I just didn't really see a good place to end it...
Anywho, Happy Reading! (I hope!)
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“You really don’t have to do this you know.”
Yes, I knew. I knew that I didn’t have to do any of these things but here I was, doing them.
I looked across the table to my grandmother; she was looking at me with a worried expression and a slight pout on her lips.
“Yes, I know.”
I tried to make my voice sound reassuring but I could not help the quiver that appeared on the last word. I put a smile on my face and looked into my grandmother’s eyes trying to convince her. Her face had been distorted by time; lines grew like ivy on her face, covering every surface. Her lips looked like two pieces of sun dried tomatoes glued to the ancient face, her hair, whips of white pulled back into a high bun on the back of her head. The only thing that remained untouched on her oval face was her eyes, two green lily pads laying in foggy white waters.
My grandmother had taken care of me for over 14 years, my parents had died when I was two in a driving accident, and their car had been hit by a drunk driver. My grandmother never talked about it and I didn’t either, neither of us wanted to drag up painful memories.
“I love you honey, you know I don’t want you to leave,”Her words felt like lashes left to bleed on my mind.
My grandmother had recently turned 77 and I knew that it was time for action, she could no longer support me, and she couldn’t take care of me. I never complained, I knew she wished she could do so much more. We lived in a small two bedroom loft, living off the money my parents had left and my part-time job at the drug store down the street. She had problems with the steep steps the filled our building and had fallen more than once. On my own I had gone to a nursing home a few miles away that most of her friends had retired two years ago in inland Florida. They had given me the forms and I had filled them out and emptied out the college bank account that every spare dollar I had went into. When I told my grandmother she had cried that I didn’t have to that and she was still fine, unfortunately for both her and me she had run out of breath doing this and needed to sit down. So now Sunshine was expecting her.
For me I did something that vowed the day it came in the mail I would never ever do. My grades had always been good, how I was able to do well I really had no idea; I was never able to study thanks to my part-time job and I paid minimal attention in class but I somehow had the best GPA of South-East Florida High School. In June I got a letter from Jamestown Prep in Connecticut informing me that I had been chosen as their scholarship of the year. I felt sick at the idea of going to a school where everyone else was stuck up and had more money than I could ever dream of having. I had pushed it out of mind and fully expected to go to South-East for 11th and 12th grade but in recent weeks that had changed. It was late September and the school year had started two weeks ago, so when I called Jamestown I was nearly begging in my head that they would tell me that it was too late and I couldn’t come. No such luck, when I called a maternal voice answered the phone asking what she could do for me; when I told her who I was she immediately put me on the phone with the headmaster, Mr. Newton, who assured me that they still had my spot and scholarship ready for me.
It was my last night in sunny Florida and I had said good bye to everyone, though I had never been popular so there really wasn’t anyone to say good bye to. I had used my severance check to buy myself the bare essentials of a winter closet, and now my skimpy supply of clothes and some other things that I needed for boarding school that I had picked up at the thrift store was packed into bags and waiting to go on my ridiculously early flight to Connecticut National Airport.
I sighed, I would have to lie.
“Everything will be great. I get to go to a great school and it doesn’t cost a thing, how many times does that happen? I will love it there, and now the only thing you have to worry about is what color scarf you are going to knit me with your friends.”
The last part was true anyway. She finally gave a weak chuckle and gave a glance at the clock; it declared it was 9:30pm. She sighed,
“You’re right, I know you’ll love it, in no time you will have great girlfriends and you will be right at home.”
I hid a grimace, she believed it and that was all that mattered.
“You better get to bed; you don’t want to miss your flight.”
She gave me a stern look and stood and walked slowly to her room down the dim hallway. I watched her until her door clicked behind her.
I gave one last look around committing it to memory knowing that in the morning I would be too tired. The small kitchen with the leaky sink, our tiny table with two mix-match chairs, and our small living room with a single window covered with lacy curtains, more mix-match chairs cluttered around a table that held a bowl for keys and mail, a pot of daisies, an old fashioned lamp, and our small black and white TV that only she watched, I preferred novels. I touched the faded yellow walls, and I couldn’t help myself, I let the water works out. I cried about leaving my grandmother, I cried about leaving the only life I knew, and I cried about going to a school where I was destined to be the outsider. Recovering from my crying fit I stumbled to the bathroom. Blotting my eyes with toilet paper I looked in the mirror. I had pale skin, (a testament to what little social life I had, anyone in Florida who had a social life spent almost all their time outside in the sun, therefore being tan), I had waist length midnight black hair that I usually pulled back into a messy pony-tail, my body was odd with long skinny legs and a short torso with a small chest, as I was constantly teased about by my grandmother. I was somehow skinny even though I lived off a strict diet of cherry soda, candy bars, and luke-warm pizza courtesy of the drug store I worked at. I had naturally red lips that were usually turned down in a slight frown, a small nose, and finally just like my grandmother, lily green eyes. I looked like a freak. My eyes looked puffy now from my crying and I couldn’t help but think how alien I looked.
Pulling myself together I walked across the hallway to my shoebox room and tripped over my bags in the dark on the way to my bed. I stared at the dark ceiling and waited for sleep to come. I didn’t bother changing, I was wearing an old faded grey t-shirt that clung to my skin, and my oldest pair of jeans with holes in them, I didn’t get under my blanket either, I would need to get up in a few hours anyway. Even though I refused to let my mind think about it, I couldn’t help but feel absolutely sick at what I was about to do. I reminded myself that I had done this to myself and I really had no other options at this point. I breathed deep and squeezed my eyes tight shut, but that didn’t stop the few tears that still slid down my face.
Tap-tap-tap. My eyes flew open, my grandmothers voice was muffled by the door and her sleepiness,
“Amanda, Amanda, it’s time to go honey.”
I jumped up and using all my will power I grabbed my two duffel bags, that was all I needed to carry everything, and didn’t look back at my small room of 14 years.
“Do you have everything?”
I merely nodded. I didn’t look back either as we left the apartment. It was too hard. At four thirty in the morning it was still cold outside so we rushed to my grandmother’s friend’s borrowed truck as we had no car of our own. I threw the duffel bags in the bed of the truck and got in on the driver’s side.
The truck smelled faintly of cats and had many snubbed out cigarettes in the ash tray. As my grandmother slowly climbed in I started the truck numbly and waited for the heat to kick in. The roads were quiet and deserted as we made our way to the airport. I was careful to keep what I thought was an excited expression on my face. Either my expression really was convincing her or it was too dark to see. It remained silent as we arrived at the airport and paid the half dead security guard $3.50 to park. I parked the truck in the nearly empty parking lot and quickly grabbed my bags and trying unsuccessfully not to think that this would be the last Florida air I would breath in who knows how long. We walked through the white clean airport looking for the departing gate, the voice box in ceiling making me jump every time it came on with an announcement. We found the gate just as the big electronic clock on the wall said it was five, I had half an hour. A man with blacker hair than me took my bags and pointed me in the right direction. We arrived at the port with 25 minutes to spare and sat in a long row of desolate plastic chairs. We sat again in silence as my grandmother absentmindedly stroked the back of my hand. As people started to board my grandmother turned in her seat so she was facing me.
“Amanda, honey, I love you so much. You are going to have a great time. I know that your parents would be proud of what you’ve done and what you are going to do. I know it’s selfish but I am so thankful that I got to raise you into the beautiful women that you are. I can’t think of anything else to say except that I love you with all my heart and that your parents would be so proud.”
She smiled at me and pulled me into a hug as I felt the shock come into my face at the reference to my parents and my grandmother calling herself selfish when I could think of no less selfish person on the planet. She pulled back but kept my shoulders tightly in her hands.
“I have something for you. It was your mom’s and I think it’s time you had it.” My mom? She had never mentioned anything like this before. She removed one of her hands and slid it without dropping her gaze into her bag and pulled out a small white box. I took it without looking at it and said in a quivering voice,
“Are you sure?”
She smiled again and nodded. I finally broke our eye contact and opened the box. Lying in white silk was a watch, it was beautiful. The face was held on by delicate looking silver circles that interlocked with each other, every other circle held a different color gemstone nestled in a silver basket, sparkling even in the early morning light of the airport. The face itself looked like it was made of crystal with little black numbers engraved in the stone, with spindly intricate silver hands.
“Its all real, the face is real diamond too. It’s been handed down for generations. Do you like it?”
My grandmother looked worried and I understood that was probably due to my stunned expression.
“It’s real?”
I couldn’t comprehend it. My grandmother nodded,
“Take good care of it. When you’re ready give it to your daughter.”
I cringed, I was 16, and family was not high on my list of things in the near future. “It’s all I can give you along with my love. Amanda? Honey, you have to go.” It was last call so I quickly stood and hugged my grandmother one more time, I realized the watch was on my wrist but I didn’t remember putting it on.
“I’ll write!”
I shouted as I hurried to desk and gave the girl my ticket. I took one last look over my shoulder as the closed the door behind me and saw my grandmother same as ever with a grin on her face tears gliding noiselessly down her face, a hand held up in farewell. I hurried down the connector and sat quickly in my seat in the front row and stared down at my watch and the tears started again as the plane took off.
The flight was direct but it still took 5 hours. I couldn’t sleep so I took out my old copy of Pride and Prejudice out of my patched book bag and stared to read. My book was so old that the cover was dented, creased and the edges were fraying but the words still were the same and it help me relax as I got lost in Elizabeth’s and Mr. Darcy’s world. Unfortunately the protection of their world couldn’t last forever. The plane landed and I made my way to baggage claim, fighting fainting the whole way there.
I got my bags and made my way through the crowded airport to the arrival gate looking for a cab. When I got to the door there was a string of bright yellow cabs, there was also a man in a suit holding up a name- my name- no way. I stopped in my tracks and took a closer look, maybe I was going crazy. No, the sign definitely said ’Amanda Viciseo’, clamping my jaw shut I walked up to the man. As I approached he smiled at me and asked,
“Are you Ms. Amanda Viciseo?”
I nodded stiffly and his smile widened, I thought he looked like he was enjoying this.
“I have your limo waiting for you. Please let me take your bags for you and if you would be so kind as to follow me.”
He swiftly bent down and took my bags and walked down the line of cabs. I followed him with an unsteady gait; the sick feeling was starting to return. I looked ahead and realized with a start that he did not look the much older than me. He looked to be about 3 inches taller to my 5’7, he had light brown hair, and from what I could see a graceful build. As the line of cabs ended a shiny black limo came into view. He quietly opened the back door for me, a small smile still dominating his face. I nearly fell into the limo as I was still watching his face and the door snapped shut behind me. The limo’s inside was over the top, soft black leather covered the long seats and walls, plush black carpeting on the floor, and every three feet or so on the wall vases that held a single red rose and emitted a dim light filled the limo with a floral sent and light despite the tinted windows. The limo glided smoothly away from the airport and I concentrated on not hyperventilating as I looked out the window and watched as buildings flicked by. After the city was behind us I realized pair of blue eyes was watching me in the rear view mirror, I slid myself around on the U shaped seat so that my head was leaning against the glass that separated the front and back. I heard a low chuckle and a mechanical grinding as I became aware of the glass was lowering.
“So you are Amanda Viciseo. You’re not happy to be the scholarship winner.” It wasn’t a question. Even though it was completely true I didn’t want anyone else to know that.
“I don’t know what you talking about.” I snapped back, crossing my arms over my wrinkled grey t-shirt.
“That’s not how I see it. I’m not judging, I’m just curious as to why not.” I glared at the black seat in front of me as a million different answers reeled in my head. I wanted to vent but definitely not to a complete stranger, what did he care about my life? I chanced a glance over my shoulder, his blue eyes pierced me and I couldn’t stop the words that now tumbled out of my mouth. “My grandmother takes care of me and she just turned 77 and she has been having health problems, we don’t have hardly any money at all so when I spent my entire college fund on a nursing home for her there really wasn’t much of a choice left for me. I couldn’t go anywhere else so I took this scholarship and now I don’t have a dime to my name, any money for college, and I have to be away from my grandmother!” My voice has reached such a high pitch I wouldn’t be surprised if only dogs could hear it, but now that I started I couldn’t stop,
“Now I have to go to a school where everyone else has money and is stuck-up, and I am going to be the scholarship freak and not a single person is going to give me a second glance.” I sighed and stewed in myself pity, a gentle voice washed over me,
“That is much more than I expected, and I am sorry. You might want to give the school your benefit of doubt, it’s not so bad.” The words were so gentle, almost as if a soft cat had curled itself around my ears. I released a great gust of air and he seemed to take this as consent. It remained peacefully quiet as the buildings became fewer and further apart outside the window, until it became only neatly trimmed fields. The sun moved slowly across the sky and we continued to drive. I dozed in my seat as the limo moved swiftly down the twisting road, I lost track of the time only being able to guess the movement of the hours as the sun’s sweet kiss left my cheek.
Suddenly as we came around a bend I caught sight of a vast structure. It looked to be made of brick, and had the look of something that had been there forever and even if you took a demo ball to the wall it wouldn’t leave a scratch. It was huge, in the middle there looked to be the biggest of the three buildings. It was 20 stories at least and was made of dark red brick, on every corner there seemed to be a different gargoyle. The double French windows looked old but well maintained with grand marble steps that lead up to two large glass doors. On either side of the building stood two slightly smaller buildings, maybe 15 stories and nowhere near as wide. Clearly they were not as old but made out of the same dark red brick with gargoyles on the ledges, the windows spaced evenly and as singles. I guessed them to be the dormitories. The grounds on which they stood were pools of vibrant green with bright splashes of color that were different types of flowers. A quiet laugh broke through my stunned state and I realized that the limo had pulled up to the middle building and stopped and the door was being held open for me. I stumbled out the door my eyes never leaving the vast building.
“Are you going to gawk or come inside?” he asked with a critical air, I heard myself whisper a yes and then I was following him inside my nerves returning to me ten-fold. I concentrated on walking barely noticing the splendor that was the interior; we walked into what I could only conceive as a grand foyer.
The floors were marble with flecks of sparkling gold, the walls painted an inviting rich gold that belonged in a sunset. There were multiple dark wood doors that lead out of the room each framed with more marble and sturdy looking gilded columns. In the middle of the grand room was an even grander sweeping staircase leading upwards. We walked through the grandness our feet making the only sounds on the marble as we crossed to the far left dark wood door. We entered a small room painted a calming green color with no windows, the floor was a soft carpet, four chairs neatly lined the wall we entered from, and a light wood desk stood in front of the opposite wall. Behind the desk a women with a kind lined face framed with silver curls and a stout figure nodded to us.
“Teddy,” I recognized her voice as the maternal one that had answered when I called,
“You may go in now.” she smiled then went back to typing on her computer. Teddy, I didn’t know why but hearing his name was slightly comforting, no, I told myself I must be imagining it. I only liked his name because it reminded me of a teddy bear, warm comforts like Florida that I no longer had.
Holding my breath I walked across the room and over the threshold of the door Teddy was holding open for me. The room was small, but impressive. The walls were a deep brown with matching carpeting, everywhere I looked I saw books, small tables with delicate looking finery on them, paintings and awards crowded the available wall space. A thick mahogany desk with intricately carved legs had piles of paper on it and three dark green leather arm chairs surrounded the desk. If my grandmother was old it was nothing compared to the man sitting in front of me. He was almost jokingly old, I was sure I had never seen someone so old. His face was so wrinkled I thought it might be in danger of slipping totally off his face, I could see no mouth on his face, just a group of wrinkles that seemed to be close and tight together. A round nose was just detectable in the layers of skin that folded over each other. Even in his eyes I could see his obvious age, that were at one time light brown but were now misted with the fog of time. He was a skinny man with a lanky frame, covered by a tailored suit. I wondered faintly if he wore a suit every day, it looked much too dressy for him. I stumbled to one of the arm chairs in front of the desk, my body felt completely numb.
“Welcome to Jamestown Prep Miss Viciseo, it was a pleasure to receive your phone call.” I was dazed for a moment hearing this voice, it sounded like rich coffee, very steady and warm, and it also had a ring of authority to it that no one could argue with.
“Um, yes, um, well, I was very lucky to have been selected for your, uh, school.” I tripped over my words as they came out, my voice sounding mockingly feeble next to Mr. Newton’s voice. His wrinkles twitched and I could only guess that a smile was now in place.
“I think that you will feel right at home here in no time. I have been reviewing your transcript and I believe that we will soon be seeing great things from you. As I am sure you know already Jamestown has a long and proud history that I am sure you will immerse yourself in. I will not bring it upon myself to bore you with a long winded speech. I am fairly certain that when you arrive to your dorm you will find a folder with information for you and even more fluff about the school.” If I didn’t feel like throwing up at the moment I would have laughed at his joke, I was able to smile weakly back at him.
“Hmm…Teddy, I think it best if you escort her to the infirmary, she looks a trifle green.” Mr. Newton said over my head in the direction Teddy must be standing.
“I’m f-fine, really!” I gasped, I heard a low chuckle emit from where Teddy was standing.
“If you’re sure then…” Mr. Newton looked as if he were considering demanding that I go. His shoulders gave a shrug and by the look of his skin I was surprised that the gesture didn’t make his skin rip. He stood and held out his hand for me to shake as I hastily made to do the same and tripping in the process, Mr. Newton gripped my wrist to help steady me and I heard him issue an audible gasp, he was staring down at my wrist in blatant disbelief. I followed his gaze to have it land on the watch grandma had given me; I had forgotten about it amidst all the nerves.
“Who gave this to you?” Mr. Newton asked sharply,
“My grandmother,” I replied in a toneless voice, he merely nodded as if that was what he had expected, he continued to stare at my watch for several seconds before releasing my wrist and straightening up to look me in the face.
“Yes well I am sure you will have a very good time in the school. Please feel welcome to come to me with any questions,” his eyes suddenly gained a desperate quality before he continued,
“Good luck Amanda Viciseo, you will need it.” he ended severely. I gulped and stumbled from the room with Teddy at my heels, he seemed anxious to get out of the room quickly though I could not even begin to guess at his motives. We escaped to the grand foyer again after exchanging pleasantries with Mr. Newton’s secretary, I could feel hysterics coming on but I pushed them back, I would not humiliate myself further.
I was blinded as we stepped out into the sun, it seemed to hype up the color of everything. I could see the nearly neon green obscure my vision, and then I had the sensation of diving head first into very warm, very deep water, and everything went black.
