I’m sick of looking out my window each day and feeling like I have to do something before my life time is over. But when is my life time over? I guess that’s something I will never know. As I write these simple words on a small white plain piece of paper, I wonder if I’ll ever find something truly exciting to live for. Is there something out there waiting for me? Is there something that is going to make me regret sitting alone in my dark bedroom every day trying to find something that can truly make me happy about living in this small town filled with mostly unpleasant, uncreative, small minded people.
I want to be creative and make my own kind of world and I want to be helping other people that feel locked inside their body ,people that want to escape and let their soul take control over them. I’m sick of hiding in the shadows.
From today on, I promise I’ll try and discover that world. I won’t close the door. I won’t give up. I’ll see where my wings end up taking me.
Chapter one
I squint my eyes, trying to wake up. My head hurt. It felt really heavy; I had a hard time picking it up. It felt like big rocks where falling down on my head, I’m sure I hurt my head really badly yesterday! I pulled my long pale legs out of bed and felt the cold floor under my feet. I was able to feel something that felt like little needles going inside my feet, it was the cold floor that made that strange feeling.
I held on to the bed with my pale dead looking arms and pushed myself out of bed. I was pretty excited about the new day, because in the early morning there aren’t many people out, it’s only me, and the black ravens cackling in the trees. Also, there are only some old people passing by on the concrete path talking about kids these days. For some strange reason, the old people actually like me and I find it really strange ,because I’m so different than them, at least I think so. I mean, I mostly wear only black clothes, and I don’t let people see my face much, and I listen to kind of music I’m sure they hate. So, how come they like me better than any other normal useless teenager in this town?
Watching out your window for a long time is not so exciting even though it does give you the time to think about stuff. The kind of stuff you can’t tell anybody else because they’ll think you’re crazy or they won’t understand you. After awhile, the black ravens started flying away as the bright yellow sun started to rise up from its grave.
I stare at the birds flying away to some faraway place, where the sun didn’t rise up from its grave yet. I find myself telling the birds not to leave me, and to take me with them to the new place they are flying to. I leave my window and get ready for my new day. I look at myself in the mirror wondering why the girl I want to stare back at me doesn’t look the way I wanted her to look. I brush my long black silky hair and stare at my green eyes. When I stare into my deep green eyes, I want to cry, because that is when the bad habits I used to have come back into my memory. I also remember the happy things that left me, or I remember inside of me the kind of person I wanted to be. It hurts me inside because I don’t think I’ll be able to come out of the deep shadows alone.
But there is no one in this small town that can help a girl like me. I wish an angel would come down from the sky and make my simple wishes come true! I want that angel to show me what kind of person I really am! Tears started building up in my green eyes until the tears started dripping down my cheeks.
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