Inside me

Dark thoughts, hate and violence.
Can’t stop them coming, invading.
Tearing at me from inside my head.
Pulsating, throbbing, aching to be set free.
Shredding apart all reason left within me.
Bursting through my wall of sanity.
Shattering my perceptions of right and wrong.
Until I can control it no more.
Inside me there is nothing.
Nothing is my friend.
Nothing is my savior.
My solitude, my inspiration.
My emptiness and loneliness.
Screaming at me to stop this madness.
Stop the burning fire in my soul.
Until the nothing returns and brings me back to reality.
Inside me there is nothing.

Hullo Burgs!

I really love the first handful of lines in your poem, how you talking about the thoughts "pulsating, throbbing, aching". Though they were all semi-bland words, it seemed to be the most vivid part of the poem, and a start of great imagery!

Personally, I think you should expand on that part of the poem. This was a little hard for me to get into and enjoy mostly because you mention these thoughts, your lack of anything, the emptiness but I am never given an example of these thoughts, or a reason as to why there is nothing. The use of words like "hate" and "violence" in the beginning of the poem dull the emotions from the start. Try to avoid general, overused, and uncolorful words. Instead, paint apicture of the violence! Don't be afraid to make your reader puke if it is going to get your message across.

I think this poem has great potential if it were rewritten. Focus more on actually describing some these things, making them into physical, imaginable perceptions that the reader can, through your words, experience and relate to. Try to avoid using vague words or adjectives. Use strong nouns and verbs, and not multiple like in the fourth line, just one which is strong and says everything on its own. Do everything you can to bring these emotions to the reader, and it'll be greater by tenfold!

Best of luck.

Bonjour Burgs!
I really enjoyed this poem, and especially for your first one. You could really imagine what was going on, and how you can find a lot of things, even in nothing. (Or at least that's what I thought) This poem explained a lot, but it also explained it well. Good work and keep the poems coming!

Dark thoughts, hate and violence. i don't know but to me hate and violence are kind of cliched "dark" thoughts. maybe you wanted them there but im pretty sure there are others that might fit in. Hatred seems to come into my mind, pretty much the same thing but i like it.
Can’t stop them coming, invading. Invading - i like that word
Tearing at me from inside my head.
Pulsating, throbbing, aching to be set free.
Shredding apart all reason left within me.
Bursting through my wall of sanity.
Shattering my perceptions of right and wrong. the three lines underlined i like, they are all pointing towards the same thing - how the throughts are changing you but when it's said in three different ways it's emphasized and just feels really poignant, to me at least.
Until I can control it no more.
Inside me there is nothing.
Nothing is my friend.
Nothing is my savior. To me this has a double meaning. By nothing you could mean you have no friends or saviours. Or it could be saying that you embrace the idea of nothingness within yourself. You don't want feeling, you just want numbness. Wow that sounds like i'm trying to psycoanalyze someone!
My solitude, my inspiration.
My emptiness and loneliness. Again with this. these words just feel too normal, i love this poem but i think you could up it a bit here.
Screaming at me to stop this madness.
Stop the burning fire in my soul. you were talking about nothingness but now you are feeling again? or burning. Why?
Until the nothing returns and brings me back to reality. when did the nothing leave?
Inside me there is nothing. I like this ending, it just feels . . . final. if that makes sense. like nothing can come after .

Great work, couple of tweaks and perfect!

Aqua X