Is divorce right or wrong?
All around the world this particular question has been asked, and debated, there have been many different views and opinions, but some of the key factors have clearly been missed out. Many people from many different religions have different opinions because of what their religions tell them about divorce. There is never going to be a right or wrong answer to this question, but there will be a valid one. During the course of this essay I am going to look at what Christians and Hindu’s believe and think about this particular matter. There are many different religions with many different views, but I chose Hindu and Christianity because they usually have different views, so it will be interesting to compare.
Society pays a big part in many family problems around the world, but society pays the biggest part in divorce. To find out whether divorce is right or wrong you don’t just have to look at different situations and judge whether that make divorce right or not, but you have to look at what the possible outcome of divorce will be, and whether it will hurt the people around it.
Many people across the world are brought up into highly religious families that follow the teachings of their religion. Therefore, when children are grown up, they are married of to suitable husbands/wives, chosen by their family (only in some religions). Sometimes, the couple that are getting married don’t actually meet their spouse until the actual wedding day. This means that they don’t know their spouse. In many cases, it is known that the husband and wife do not get on and cannot learn to love each other, which leaves no choice but to divorce each other. Statistics show that 12.7 or every 1000 people in the UK alone get divorced due to the fact that they don’t get on with their spouse. But just because they get divorced because they don’t get on, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right. You can understand the concept of why they would want to divorce, but the people around them could make it harder for the divorce to take place meaning that the divorce could be wrong. E.g. with a family that contain children it wouldn’t just affect the couple it would affect the children as well. Another main point is abuse. Abuse occurs every so often in a family household, and it doesn’t have to be with the couple, it could be child abuse, to the children, which could affect the relationship of the couple. Family abuse is so common in the UK, 11% of violence is known to have come from family violence. Reasons like this give the couple a reason to divorce. For it not only affects them as a family, but affects the world around them. Not only does divorce affect the family there and then, but it affects the family for the future. Especially the children, because having family problems can affect a child’s school life, social life and future life. This means that by you making a decision to divorce you could be making the decision of whether your child is a hero or a villain. Divorce can make a family unstable; it can make the difference to whether the family are rich or poor. So many families, after getting divorced, struggle to cope with the money side of things. Many husbands/wives find themselves divorcing because they have fallen in love with someone else (had an affair). This puts pressure onto the family, as feelings can’t be helped, and when the news is first heard it is heartbreaking. It also affects the new girlfriend/boyfriend of which is the cause of the divorce, in many cases it leaves the parent that made the mistake lonely, as the original family don’t want him/her because of what she/he has done, and the girlfriend/boyfriend feels to guilty. Also, if parents decide to divorce it puts children under pressure, and it makes them unhappy. Sometimes the children don’t want to speak to one of their parents or don’t have the relationship they used to have with them anymore. This is bad for the parent and the child. But on the other hand divorce can be for the better. Some people’s lives could have been controlled by their partner, or could have been lost by their partner, or some people just aren’t themselves anymore. So by getting divorced it could lead their life onto a better track. This means that they can be themselves around friends and family, which raises the spirits, and lowers the tension between each other.
Looking at Christianity and their beliefs in the matter of divorce, it states in the Bible, (Old Testament) that God must allow divorce, in the Bible (Christian’s holy book) there are many instances of where divorce has occurred. According to the bible, it states that God hates divorce and the Bible quotes Jesus’ words “What God has joined together, let not man (nor woman) separate” implying that divorce is wrong, but however, as God did say, it isn’t disallowed. Most Christians believe that there is only one reason as to why a couple should ever divorce and that is adultery. But, however, the Bible does not state that a couple should get divorced, if adultery is committed. Christians are taught to forgive, which means that divorce shouldn’t be necessary. Below is the usual vow a Christian couple would have to say in order to marry:
I, <Groom’s name>,
Take you, <Bride’s name>,
to be my wife/husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part,
according to God's holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
Looking at the vow, it lists troubled times of which a couple must stick together in, and after that it produces the line “till death us do part” this shows that a Christian marriage is vowed forever, and as it says later on, anyone who divorces is committing a sin. However, as I did say before there is no law against divorce, but when you have made a commitment (promise to God) you are expected to stick to it.
Hindu’s believe that divorce is wrong, and should not take place. But, they do allow divorce to take place if it is because of one of the following three reasons adultery, cruelty, and desertion for two years, religious conversion, mental abnormality, and venereal disease, and leprosy, renunciation of the world, physical separation and absence of communication for more than seven years. For a Hindu marriage ceremony there are also vows you have to take, which specify the fact that your partner is your best friend for life, and you have to promise to love them and cherish them, and be honest to them. This means that if a problem within the family occurs that particular family member would be expected to speak out. Although divorce is less common in Hinduism, it is known that there is more faults within a Hindu family life than any other religion.
Looking at both of the religions, I notice that both of them are saying more or less the same thing. The similarities are that they disagree with divorce; they both make vows at the wedding ceremony about divorce. They both believe in telling the truth.
some statistics for divorce: Since 1997 the average age at divorce in England and Wales has risen from 40.2 to 43.7 years for men and from 37.7 to 41.2 years for women, partly reflecting the rise in age at marriage, One in five men and women in 2007 had a previous marriage ending in divorce, 68% of the divorces in 2007 were granted by women, 54% of those were because of the men’s behaviour, the highest divorce rate belongs to people in their mid 20’s.
After taking everything I have studied into consideration, I conclude that divorce is wrong, because of what religion tells us, what’s best for families, and also who divorce hurts. Also I think that if you can’t commit to the vows you say when you marry then you shouldn’t marry, and you shouldn’t marry someone who is physically abusing you. Most of marriage is about common sense. Divorce isn’t needed if you are sure that you want to marry the person. You should be confident about marrying that person, and you should know that you will come to no harm. Also religion tells us that divorce isn’t recommended, so therefore highly religious people shouldn’t be expected to divorce, for it would be a sin against the God if they made vows at a marriage.
I think one of the most important things about divorce is the reason. This is because many people end up getting divorced because they don’t agree with their husband/wife, and do not think of their family and friends around them. Divorce doesn’t just hurt the family it hurts everyone, so my personal opinion would be that divorce is wrong, based on everything mentioned throughout this essay.
