Hey guys! Sorry about the delay. It's a very short chapter [yet again] and I really need your help!! Thank you so, so much. ofir.
chapter eight- Running away
The warm breeze blew strongly on my face, making my curly hair swirl around me, forcing down my nostrils the scent of freshly cut grass. The sun was scorching; I could feel it on my arms, on my cheeks. The air was bone dry, nothing heard but the sound of the wind, nothing seen but the yellow grass and the shade of Jessie's car, and the bumpy dirt road for miles and miles past us. It felt so alone.
Jessie laughed. "Don't look so disgruntled," he said through his chuckles. "This is only for the best."
I grimaced at the term. Right. Me not being able to say goodbye to Jared was not for the best, and he knew it. But arguing was useless. Jessie simply wouldn't listen.
I kicked the trunk of his car weakly. What was so wrong with me saying goodbye to the one that I… loved? Yes, I did love him, but differently. Jessie had explained everything on the way.
"See, my people and yours…" he had said with a wry smile on his lips, "we had collisions in the past. It's all very boring, but mainly you kicked us out of this world, and we were forced to find home in the wilderness of another dimension."
I blinked at the word dimension. How strange. This was becoming more and more like a movie. Girl falls in love with a demon, blows off the rest of her life over a hunch that they're meant for each other, gets sucked into a different dimension… yes, definitely one of those bad plotted movies. I tried to pay attention to what Jessie was saying, shaking off the tempting notion of this all being a dream, like the first time.
"It became clear later on that those amongst you who did bad things when you were alive became… well, like us, sent for all eternity to our world once gone from this one." He chuckled, but it rang of emptiness, no real emotion attached to the sound. "Hell."
I nodded as if I understood. "Like a curse or something," I said slowly.
It was Jessie's turn to nod. "Remember the story about Adam and Eve being kicked out of heaven?" he'd asked, his golden hair blown by the wind in the open window.
"Yeah," I said softly, remembering all the lectures. Adam and Eve were thrown out of heaven for their greed, and they were forced to enter the real world.
"Well, those weren't you guys. The ones that were kicked out were us." He became dead serious. "Things in the last years have started to… heat up." He chose his words carefully, his tone wary. "I'm not and never was a human. Pure blooded demon," he added. He smiled proudly, almost arrogantly, his strange eyes suddenly filled with confidence, like this was an important, life altering fact.
When he saw the blank expression on my face his smile faded and reduced to its former serious appearance, almost surprised.
"You know, we sometimes choose who to recruit," he changed the subject, eyes squinted forward, at the road. "When we see someone out there that's worth it… then we send someone. Someone like me. Someone who'll drive them over the edge right before they die, and then they just… come to our side. We're… building an army, I guess." He had shrugged.
I coughed to clear my throat – it felt like something was stuck there. "What do you mean… we?"
He looked at me with surprise as if it was obvious. "I don't think you understand… I'm not proud of all the things my race had done – the devil didn't just gather the title for nothing, but… I'm evil too. I don't try to act good, or kind. This is what I am."
I heard myself gasp weakly. My mouth dropped in horror.
Jessie continued as if he was oblivious. "I support all their decisions. I'm one of them. They're my people."
A low rasping sound escaped from my throat. "You're behind those monsters?"
Jessie's eyebrows twitched and his jaw clenched tight, his mouth forming into a definite line. He didn't answer.
"You make humans miserable on their say so? You…" Understanding brightened my eyes, filled them with tears though I already knew the truth. "Were you trying to make me miserable?" I whispered. I had trusted this person. He betrayed that trust.
"Yes." He didn't seem like he was going to apologize for it. He kept his gaze strictly on the road for a change.
I looked away, trying to ignore the roaring in my ears. I knew we were connected, I could feel it. But I couldn't help feeling empty at the same time. I swore to Jared I would try. I betrayed his trust too.
This was what was left of me, just a lowlife that broke promises and betrayed trust, an idiot who always trusted the wrong people, or… things, rather. I knew I was being too harsh on myself, but I deserve it, I reasoned. I did a lot of bad things. I deserved to go to hell. For breaking someone as good as Jared, for even existing. I didn't deserve to exist.
But, a little voice said softly inside me, but things don't have to be this way. You can stop right now, ditch this movie. You can keep your promise to Jared, you can have a normal life. You can.
"Stop the car," I whispered.
The arm of the speed clock didn't budge and inch. Neither of us said anything.
Finally, as the silence grew stronger and more ominous, as if it had a real physical pressure that forced me to bow my head down against the uncomfortable feeling, Jessie muttered "I was jealous." I didn't expect that. I gasped again, the noise sounding less dramatic than before, more like a frightened little whimper of a trapped animal who already knows it's done for.
He kept staring straight ahead while speaking. "That's why I didn't want you to say goodbye to Jared. When you're around him… my skin starts to crawl, and all these… thoughts, come up in my mind. I just can't bear seeing you with him."
I stayed quiet, neither agreeing nor rejecting his feelings. It was time to simply listen. I wasn't expected of to react in any way.
"It's all because I know you love him. A strong love that has been through a lot." His hazel-honey eyes grew almost physically darker. "And what I feel for you… what the stars had told me you feel too, what is meant for us… it all points to the fact that I love you too." He said the words with a certain resigned tone coloring his voice. I noticed he hadn't said he loved me himself, just that all the evidence points to that fact. I cringed as it hurt more than I expected it to. Maybe I was getting a little bit too attached.
"So, let me get this straight." I knew there was dark humor in my eyes. "I love him, but I love you? This isn't some demon magic?"
Jessie snorted lightly, and the tension in the car brightened immensely. "Yes. But your love for him is natural. For us it's fate." I noticed him shiver when he said the word 'us'. I smiled just a little, shivering out of joy myself. Unexplainable, irrational joy. Wrong yet right. I had shaken my head at the mixed emotions.
The wind blew stronger, bringing me back from my memories, and my maple curls covered my view of the freshly cut, yellowish grass. Nothing made sense. But Jessie had explained it quite perfectly. Jared was natural. This was fate. Right vs. wrong. Heaven vs. Hell.
"Oh, the irony," I groaned. Jessie laughed again and swung his arm so that it rested on my shoulder, curling myself against him in a half embrace.
I was starting to get used to the fact that whatever Jessie and I did together, it felt almost too normal, like we were built for each other. That's why it didn't startle me when I fit perfectly against his side. I could hear his heart beat faster through the thin shirt he was wearing, and the corners of my mouth pulled up.
My heart stuttered in a way that tickled in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach swirled around like my hair from the wind. This was why I was still here, I reminded myself with flushed cheeks, giggling. Jessie let out a broad, beautiful smile as well, as if not sure how to react, but a bright, stunning red blush spilled across his cheeks. Yes, this was why I was here. Nothing beat fate.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so sure.
