Take Me Or Leave Me

(A/N: This is actually a very personal song that I wrote a while back. I'd just finished reading a book about three gay teens and their struggles against homophobia and I'd felt completely blown away. And I'd felt like I needed to put the words down. Hence "Take Me or Leave Me". Enjoy!)

TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME

Do you want me to tell the words
That would seem like music to your ears
Or would you rather have me
Just as I am, raw and honest

It’s hard to not cry with predators around
When you’re lost in a dark world
Sometimes, the words you need to say
They just come out wrong

Chorus:
‘Cause I’m gonna be myself
Take me or leave me
Forgetting about the stares
Will get easier with time
Take me or accept me
Just as I am
Take me or leave me
I hope you’ll understand

I can’t imagine a situation so hard
Where you’re being broken each day
When you try and find the rainbows
And only find storm clouds

At least if there isn’t any color
There’s the sun and it’s shining bright
And each day, I’m smiling out
Breathing in my freedom

Chorus:
‘Cause I’m gonna be myself
Take me or leave me
Forgetting about the stares
Will get easier with time
Take me and accept me
Just as I am
Take me or leave me
I hope you’ll understand

Bridge:
I can’t be anyone but myself
Who cares about what they say
Innocent boy, don’t hide
Please try to understand
What you are made of

Chorus:
‘Cause I’m gonna be myself
Take me or leave me
Forgetting about the stares
Will get easier with time
Take me or accept me
Just as I am
Take me or leave me
I hope you’ll understand

Break down the walls
And let them see all of us

Hey Ross! June here!

I haven't seen you or your work around for quite a while! I feel pretty bad critiquing this, because it's a song, and songs are generally very tricky to review, especially when you cannot here the melody they're too be placed to.

So, to begin, I'll just toss some suggestions out in the open:

Do you want me to tell the words
That would seem like music to your ears
Or would you rather have me
Just as I am, raw and honest

In the first line, here, I feel like "tell" should be replaced with "say"; I think that using "tell" not only makes this line look awkward-ish, but it also is quite an icky word to pronounce in that line.

It’s hard to not cry with predators around
When you’re lost in a dark world
Sometimes, the words you need to say
They just come out wrong

In the last line here, dear, I think "they" is kind of adding a drag to the line. Like I said, though, I don't know what melody you're placing this on, so, I'm not sure if that's a legit thing to point out.

I can’t imagine a situation so hard
Where you’re being broken each day
When you try and find the rainbows
And only find storm clouds

Being broken sounds kind of strange here, dear. Maybe when you're breaking each day? I don't know-- I'm not going to tell you to change it because it's your song, but being broken just struck me as a strange phrase.


I think it's a pretty good song, although I cannot comment much on it without knowing how you intend to sing it.

Nice work! Keep it up!

Best--

Juniper

I like your song its great!! You could use i little rhyming here and there but other then that


you did good! I am wondering the tune though... what kind of music do you have planned for it?




Thanks for sharing!!















God bless.







"They can because they think they can."