The pinata was a pig head. It had a large snout, where the candy was stuffed up into, and the ears could also have candy coming out of. Two blue eyes stared at Johan like his wife used to do, when he had one. Her name was Clarissa, but that's not important anymore. What was important was getting this pinata delivered on time.
What's his face that lived down the street had a kid that was having her tenth birthday party. Cute little Mexican girl. Her name was Tanya. But that's also not important. What was important was getting this pinata delivered on time, and that meant everything to him. He liked his job. It gave him comfort to know that he could make someone happy by giving them a pinata and a bat, saying, "Swing away."
He grabbed the pig by its over sized head and carried it to his delivering truck. He didn't know why he had a delivering truck. Seriously, nothing that he carried around required a truck. The pinatas generally weren't that large. The pig head was one of the largest he had. But then again, he wouldn't look very professional with just his small Geo Prizm. That didn't look very professional at all.
Tom, the neighbor that bought the pinata, was standing on his green lawn, waiting for him to arrive. He wasn't late. Was he? Didn't Tom ask him to arrive at a quarter to three? He glanced at his watch on his hairy arm and it read 3:30. "I'm even early," he whispered to himself. He pulled into the driveway and waved to Tom. Tom walked up to him, tapping his watch.
"Steven, I told you to be here at a quarter to two! You're almost a whole hour late! I need to be able to rely on you, man! Seriously."
Steven blushed and prodded the pig head next to him. "Well, here's the pinata. Mind if I hook it up? It's kind of confusing, and it'd be easier if I did it."
"Uh, sure. Whatever. Just hurry. The kids are bored stiff. We ran out of ice cream twenty minutes ago, and they've just been sitting there, staring at the wall."
"Maybe you should've turned on the TV?" Steven asked, but Tom shook his head.
"We don't have TV anymore. We believe that television is a total waste of time. Time in which the children could be playing and growing outside." Steven stopped a moment at this statement, and shook his head, thinking, "What's this world coming to?"
He took the pig pinata out of his truck and into the backyard, where there was a ladder and a rope, from which he would tie the pinata. It wasn't that difficult at all, to be honest. He hooked it up in a snap. He mainly wanted to glance around at the backyard. He was often told by his ex-wife, "Maybe one day you'll have a yard like Tom does. Tom's perfect at everything. Why can't you be like him?"
Steven shook his head and stood back to examine the pig head. Tom had gone inside to fetch the children. Steven could hear them yelling in joy and racing out of the house. The birthday girl, Tanya or something like that, picked up the bat and said, "It's my birthday. I get to go first."
"Go ahead," Tom said, and tied a bandana around her head. Tanya smiled and waved the bat in the air, like she was getting ready to hit a home run. She swung the bat as hard as she could---
Missed. Barely, though. The young kids were shouting, "Go, Tanya! Go! Higher! Higher!"
She swung higher. I bit my tongue in anticipation.
She hit the snout of the pig dead on, and it exploded in a mess of confetti and---
I laughed my mighty evil laugh and ran out of the backyard. There was a moment of silence, and then--
"OH MY GOSH! IS THAT BLOOD?" one of the kids screamed. Everyone else exploded into a fit of screams and outraging. I could hear Tom chasing after me, but I was too quick. I flung myself into the car, still giggling my little butt off, and started the engine. I roared out of the driveway, nearly bumping into Tom's nice new Ford Explorer. I threw the car into drive and drove away, still laughing.
Sure, the pig's head was fake. But that little porker that I usually kept around the yard? I used to call her Snoink. She was now probably rotting away in the garbage can somewhere. I thought it would be hilarious to see Tom's face when blood busted out of the pinata. It was.
I smiled for a moment, and then wanted a ham sandwich.
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786 words. 14 minutes.
OOOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAH.
-Jared
