And now the second half of Act I, Scene I.
---
Romeo and Juliet
In Everyday English
MON: So, Benvolio, who started the fight this time?
BEN: I don’t know. Two of our servants and two of theirs were already fighting when I arrived. I went to break them up when Tybalt came out of nowhere, raring for a fight, and took a
LA. MON: Have you seen Romeo today? I’m glad he wasn’t involved in this mess, but I have no idea where he is.
BEN: I saw him sitting beneath a sycamore tree to the west of the city an hour before dawn. When I went to talk to him, he took off into the woods. It seemed like he wanted to be left alone, so I didn’t follow him.
MON: For the past few days, he’s been moping there – sighing and crying. And yet, just before dawn, he sneaks back into the house and locks himself in his room with the windows closed and curtains drawn. I’m worried about him, Benvolio, and I was hoping that you could talk to him and snap him out of it.
BEN: Do you have any idea why he’s been acting like that?
MON: No, and he won’t tell me either.
BEN: Have you tried asking him directly?
MON: Many times, and not just I – many of his friends have tried, but he refuses to talk to anyone. We can’t even help him because he won’t let us.
Enter ROMEO.
BEN: Here he comes. You probably should leave. Don’t worry; I won’t give up until I find out why he’s been so moody lately.
MON: Thank you, Benvolio. Now, my wife, let’s leave.
Exit MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE.
BEN: Good morning, cousin.
ROM: Is it still morning?
BEN: Just past nine.
ROM: *sighs sadly* When you’re down, time drags by so slowly.
Was that my father who left so quickly just now?
BEN: Yes. Now, why are you so down? Are you in love?
ROM: Fallen out—
BEN: Of love?
ROM: Of her favor. It’s like she doesn’t even know I exist and that I love her!
BEN: I see. Well, now you know that love isn’t exactly all sunshine and roses.
ROM: Why must love be so blind and stubborn?!
*heavy sigh* Well, I’m hungry, so do you know any good places to eat?
*notices the mess the fight caused...finally* Oh, my! Who fought here?
Never mind; I can guess. All fights are the same.
You think they’d spring more from hate, but oftentimes its over love.
Why, then, conflict-causing love! affectionate hate!
Or anything at all, do you cause nothing but trouble from the start?!
Depressed happiness! important pointlessness!
Ugly chaos composed of beautiful order!
Heavy feather, incandescent smoke, cold fire, sick health!
Sleeping while still awake, that is not what love is!
I love her, but I do not love feeling like this.
… Are you laughing?
BEN: No! I’m... crying.
ROM: At what?
BEN: At the unfairness of your situation.
ROM: Oh, Benvolio, I’m so sorry to cause you such grief.
I was so focused on my own misery that didn’t notice that you had your own problems.
Don’t cry – I’m leaving now.
BEN: Wait! Don’t leave.
If you leave now, you’ll only make me more upset.
ROM: But I’m not really here.
What you see is but a shell of Romeo; his heart is gone away.
BEN: Then will you not tell me where your heart is gone – who you love?
ROM: But if I tell you, I shall start to cry.
BEN: Oh, please don’t cry.
But, still, I seriously would like to know who you’re in love with.
ROM: What you ask is like asking a sick man to write his will –
Ill counsel to one who is already ill!
In all seriousness, though, I love a woman.
BEN: Nice to know I hit the mark with that guess.
ROM: Well, you’re an excellent marksman then. And she is right fair, this woman I love.
BEN: Well, a fair mark is the easiest to hit.
ROM: And you’d be wrong. This mark will not be hit by Cupid’s arrow.
She will not listen to love poems or serenades,
And she covers every inch of her skin completely,
And, no matter how expensive the gift I give her,
She still will not sleep with me.
She is so beautiful, and yet,
When she dies, her beauty shall die with her.
BEN: So, she’s a nun.
ROM: She is! And it is such a waste.
Because of her vow, her beauty will die with her,
Unremembered by any.
I know she hasn’t broken my heart on purpose –
She is too fair and wise and wisely fair –
But by vowing to never fall in love, to remain chaste,
She has killed my heart dead.
BEN: Romeo, a bit of advice: forget about her. It’s never going to happen.
ROM: How can I forget?
BEN: Well, for starters, you could try looking at other women.
There are plenty of beauties other than this nun.
ROM: But that only makes me think of her beauty even more.
Just like a blinded man can never forget what it was like to see,
I cannot forget how beautiful she is
As I compare her beauty to those others deemed most fair.
Good bye, Benvolio. It’s impossible for me to forget.
BEN: We’ll see about that.
Exit ROMEO and BENVOLIO.
End Act I, Scene I.
---
Romeo annoys me. I do not like Romeo. I never have. Benvolio, on the other hand, has always been my favorite character. "Translating" this play has only further cemented my dislike of Romeo and like of Benvolio.
On another note, I shudder with horror at the prospect of the balcony scene. I can only handle so much melodramatic prose with delusions of romantic grandeur at once. @_@
