Love is Only the Beginning: Chapter Seven (+13)

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 221
I wandered up the steps that my husband had not shown me. Alone in the huge Lafayette Manor, I looked for something to keep me busy. Jessie had gone out, but would not tell me why or where he was going. So, I searched for something to keep me from thinking too much about it.
I had been in the library looking for something to read, but when I pulled out a book that looked interesting, a wall opened, revealing a dark stairwell. Curiosity led me to the stairwell that I was wandering up. Since it was dark, I had found a lantern in one corner and began my way up.
The steps seemed to last forever, until finally I came upon a door. I reached for the knob. Then, hesitated once my hand clutched the knob. There was no way of having known what I would find behind this hidden door. Swallowing back the fear of what I might find, I turned the knob.
As if the door had been recently opened, the knob turned easily, and the door swung open. I took a step in so that the light from the lantern would spread across the room.
The room was very large. The walls were filled with portraits of people; at one end the paintings looked very old, but the ones closer to the door were newer. I crossed the room to the last picture to study it, and see of who it was.
The lantern fell from my hands to the ground as I gasped. The picture was of Jessie and myself. We were standing side by side in our wedding clothes. There was no way that someone could have painted it over night. This was very strange. Even stranger was the fact that when I picked up the lantern from off the floor, something caught my eye.
I crossed the room to a large table that stretched from one side of the room to the other. What it was that caught my attention is unknown, but when I got there, I wished that I had not have. For on one end of this table, was covered with paintings and sketches of me at all ages. There were birth certificates, and all different kinds of records in my name. Something told me that my meeting Jessie Lafayette was not by accident. The other end of the table had weapons of all kinds spread across it. Along with sketches of all me ex betroths’.
I picked up two of the birth certificates, and examined them. One had the name of my parents on it, and the other of people I did not know. Joshua and Sarah Smith. Besides that, the two slips of paper were exactly the same. I gently set them down, and picked up another slip of paper.
This one was not a birth certificate, but a death certificate. The names Joshua and Sarah Smith were on it. Startled, I picked up another slip of paper. The paper I picked up was an adoption paper stating that I was going to be the legal daughter of Jonathon and Susannah Leroux.
I set down the paper not being able to breathe. I had seen more than my heart could handle at the moment.
I do not know how I made it back to the library so quickly, but I did. The second I shut the wall leading to the room, I heard a masculine voice asking, “Susannah, are you in here?”
Thinking quickly, I pulled a book from the shelf, and sat down on the couch near by. I opened the book.
“Here you are,” Jessie said, entering the room. “I was beginning to think you had run away.”
His tone told me that he was only bantering. “Do you-”
Before he could finish, I hastily stated, “I need some air…I have been in here for long enough.”
“Oh, okay.”
I walked out of the room. Once I was out of his sight, I took off running down the hall toward the door that led outside. I heard my husband calling, “I will join you in a moment.”
I opened the door, and stepped outside. That is when all the energy left me, and the ground came to meet me.
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.
--La Rochedoucauld

"An unexamined life is not worth living..."
---Socraties




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 493
for some reasong this seemed more like a list to me, like, "I did this, then I did that." but I'm not really sure how you can fix that. :(. But it is still really good. the plot line is nice. :D Although this section was shorter.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6090
Reviews 1258
For me, I thought this was a really important section, yet you didn't put enough emphasis on it. Make it more like a revelation, and add a lot more details. :D
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 129
You did get a little repetitive with the "I" I did like it though especially since it revealed so much and you didn't take forever to let the reader know what was going on through like, three chapters. I like it so far, like always! :) Hope to read more from you Kayla! My favorite part was:

This one was not a birth certificate, but a death certificate. The names Joshua and Sarah Smith were on it. Startled, I picked up another slip of paper. The paper I picked up was an adoption paper stating that I was going to be the legal daughter of Jonathon and Susannah Leroux.

That's just one of the things that I thought you wrote well and was important!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 171
chapter eight it is then......
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. - Peter O'Toole




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1078
Reviews 55
This was a little repetitive on the "I" and it seemed almost like a list. It also seemed like an important chapter, but you didn't go into much detail on why it was supposed to be important. You just told about what she discovered. It was just a little too short.

Anyway, I'm sure you know the drill by now. :wink:
Attachments
Love is Only the Beginning, chapter seven.doc
(27.5 KiB) Downloaded 38 times
Ever since you went away, my heart has never beat the same and all that I can do is just laugh.



You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.
— Uncle Iroh