suckerpunch

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Ooh, I like it. Especially the last two lines. :)
Love and Light




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Hehe, here's something I finally understood [stupid me...]
I saw nothing really wrong, thats because my eyes are tired, but I read it still and it's very very nice. And I do aggree with Crysi, I love the last 2 lines.




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Easy to read, easy to understand, easy to relate to...good stuff.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.




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You have a avery clear voice and tone, as well as strong imagery. I would suggest rethinking the lines referencing the hallway. It dates you and the poem to school years. Poetry should be timeless.



I'll show my defiance through ironic obedience!
— AstralHunter