It is ten of evening on the city clock

It is ten of evening on the city clock.
The fires are blinking in the houses of neighbours.
New Year's tree is blinking in the centre of the yard
And everything is waiting:
New Year, it's time to come.

I'm looking in the window in this evening
I think of one, who is far, but he is also near.
And on this saint holiday, when the hope is given to everyone,
I want to say to this person:

Сhorus:
I wish, that every sunrise in your life will be bright
And your soul will not lose the light.
I wish, that God will be always with you.
When I see the light in your window,
It becomes joyful and sad in my soul,
But the darkness will turn to the light soon.

The house is full of pine's smell,
The snow blinks outdoors.
Nature looked very well,
What the good time was!
All faces are shining,
But I don't smile in this case,
Because I imagine your face.

Chorus.

First of all, welcome to YWS, Black Rain!

This was a very good first entry. The first two verses were not very good at rhyming, but still laid down the main theme of the song. Besides for that, the only problem was how small it was. Otherwise, it was a very good song. I hope to see more great things from you!

Thank you for critique. It is my first song, translated from russian into english, that's why rhyme is not very good.

I agree that it seems a bit short, but I can assume that the guitar part would add something. One thing I would like to suggest, though I know that YWS isn't about the music and it isn't Garageband, when you specifically say that it is with guitar, it would be interesting to see the guitar part as well. I know that chords with the words can clutter it up for those who just want to read the lyrics, but putting tablature at the end would make it possible for those of us who do play to get a better feel for the song and its sound. I like your word choices, they are quite descriptive and paint a good picture of what you are trying to convey.

Hi,
the general theme of this was really touching and captivating.
I get that you translated it from Russian, which is why some of the english doesnt make sense and the rhyme scheme doesnt work, but that's not alway the most important thing...

I loved the first line of the chorus so much!
"I wish, that every sunrise in your life will be bright"
I don't specifically know why, i just really liked it. It seemed very personal and moved me a little bit, but that's just my sentimentally...

i'd also love to hear it with guitar, is it going to be acoustic or not?

xx

Thank you!
I use acoustic guitar for singing this song.