The Hunter

A midwinter’s night, no one’s awake.
In the grass, a silent creature lies.
Its presence alone makes its target quake
Along with the gaze of its yellow eyes.

The hunter springs forward, light on its feet.
Its teeth reflect the light of the moon.
And, although right now it experiences defeat,
Mark my words, it will hunt again soon.

Because every dog will have its day,
This wolf tonight will catch no prey.
But mark my words, it will hunt soon
Under the light of the frozen moon.

Hello!

Just a warning: I really like this poem. I think it's really good. So that means I'm going to be especially nit-picky and harsh in this review, so it can be even better. Don't get discouraged, I don't waste time on pieces unless they're worth it; and remember that all these are only suggestions, it's totally your work to do with what you want.

Anyway!

A midwinter’s night, no one’s awake./In the grass, a silent creature lies. Nice beginning; it sets the mood well, a dark, mysterious-y feel. I'm not wild about the full stops though, I think they hurt the flow of the poem which is especially important in the beginning, when the reader is just getting going. It ends up making it so that it's hard to get into the rhythm until the second stanza, which is not so good - possibly rephrase it so that it's not two separate sentences.

Its presence alone makes its target quake/Along with the gaze of its yellow eyes. Yeah, I don't like all the its's here. In poetry (and I can't stress this enough) every word absolutely has to count; every word has to say something new. And the its's kind of clutter up the poem, if that makes sense, and make it less pretty. As I mentioned before, I love the mood that you have set up here - yellow eyes, midwinter's night, silent creature - that stuff's great. But these little things take away from those pretty images. Don't worry so much about proper sentence structure; there's a lot of room to break the rules here.

And, although right now it experiences defeat, The way I read it this line has too many syllables? And I think it's because of the experiences[/b]. What if you changed it to [i]tastes, as that would mean the same thing but flow better, and also have this cool double meaning as the hunter is, literally, TASTING. Or whatever you want. ^___^

Aaaaaaand, I love your last stanza. I'm not sure why you changed the structure - from an ABAB scheme to AABB scheme - and usually I'd hate that but I think it works here. And, a positive contrast from the other two, this one flows really beautifully. So I'd work on the first stanza, especially, so that you can begin your poem as strongly as you end it.

PM me if you have any questions!
-Mars x