So, August had been and gone, passing in a blur of fun and excitement, pretty normal for the Summer holidays of a sixteen year old. I hadn’t really lingered over the knowledge that I was getting important exam results that very same month, which was impressive as I stressed maybe a little too much in June. Anyway, the exam results day came as fast as the Summer and was over in a flash of colour. I spoke with the principal of a grammar school about sitting my A Levels there. And I got in. A cause worthy of celebration, perhaps.
The school was certainly impressive, with places there reserved for only the most capable of students in my home County. The problem I had going in? Not the students, who passed me by, nor the teachers who would smile sweetly at me, but-well-the fact that I was no longer Hannah the feminist, the environmentalist, the human rights supporter. No. In my old school, I was known for being me. I was the quirky, funny but all the same serious about what I believed in Hannah. No more. I was just another building block in a sea of new faces. I was no longer the prodigy at acting and speaking I had once been. I was just another student. Just one more.
I suppose that’s one of the things to make me most uncomfortable. That I might just exist. I might just go to work and come home and then repeat it the next day. So that’s why I’ve promised myself that in the future and now and forever I’ll be a supporter for human rights, and ending the death penalty and for equal rights for women. That’s what I want. And even still I have to ask myself: why be so afraid? Why be uncomfortable about not being who I want? We can do anything we want. It’s just that some people wear your dreams away like the sea wears away at cliffs that stand proudly, having stood the test of time, their faces betraying no look of fear, no expression of hatred or regret. So maybe it’s the same for us. Those people? Learn from them and show them that you shall do what you want. Everyone can. People say it all the time, and we call the corny, but it’s true, isn’t it?
So I’m glad I opened that door, and I’ll open others and hope that I close it again with both knowledge and dreams gained.
