The Seagull

Tonight the sky is a whirlpool
Of dark blue and purple paint
Amid swirling grey thunder clouds
Glaring threateningly down at the sea.
Whipping up winds which engrave
Their initials through the Atlantic
And collide clumsily with every sail
With which they become acquainted
Making enemies of the sailors
Who attempt in vain to keep on their feet.

I soar overhead through the endless breeze
Feathers spat at by the cruel waves
Laughing maliciously
As I voyage through their pass of chaos.
Icy salt water sloshes my frozen feet
And a glance is spared
For the unfortunate two-leggeds below.
I see them cling to the edge of their boat
It’s beauty eroded by an unforgiving ocean.
A tag along thump of pity.

Angry sky looms above us both
And thunder sings us a symphony.
The boat is tossed and flung between waves
The way a cat would toy with a mouse.
Duty of guardian abandons me
As I too make my way back
To the safe refuge of harbour.
The distance depicts to me
Slippery pebbles on the bay
And the promise that I will see another morning.

This is really interesting. I like the haughtiness of the seagull and all the imagery.

Punctuation. You have a lack of it. I think it takes away slightly from the readability of this poem. For instance, you get to the end of a line, and you don't know if it's the end of an idea or just the middle of one because there is no punctuation. In a lot of the breaks you are continuing the idea, but it was choppy for me because I kind of read each line separately. Does that make sense? Bottom line - punctuate!

Tonight the sky is a whirlpool

Of dark blue and purple paint

Amid swirling grey thunder clouds

Glaring threateningly down at the sea.

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find the paint image very threatening until I saw the word "threateningly."

Whipping up winds which engrave

Their initials through the Atlantic

And collide clumsily with every sail

With which they become acquainted

I think all the withs and whiches make this kind of awkward. I think I'd change the first "which" to "that".

I see them cling to the edge of their boat

It’s beauty eroded by an unforgiving ocean.

A tag along thump of pity.

I think "it's" should be "its", but I can't tell because there is no comma after boat. And I don't understand the third line.

The distance depicts to me

Slippery pebbles on the bay

And the promise that I will see another morning.

I think this ending is also confusing. I think you mean something like "In the distance I see the slippery pebbles on the bay and the promise..." If that's what you mean, I don't think you are using "distance" and "depicts" exactly right.

Good work.
-rachel