The Tree of Hope

Her woes whisper as silent as the wind, but howl loudly as old memories are awakened. They blow away all the leaves from the branches of happiness - from the tree of hope. The tree, that in the summer, used to blossom the flowers of infatuation, and the fruits of love in the spring. When fall comes,it sheds different emotions in the color of its leaves, some doubts and confusion. The heart is broken into a hundred falling leaves, sometimes are gathered but are disposed of just the same. They are left to dry and wither in pain, till the winter makes them cold and numb.

~I.M./bailecielo, February '08~

Hey Baile

This is a very, very interesting piece. Very insightful.

I must ask, though, was it intentional to have the flowers bloom in summer and the fruits in spring? Most often I find it vice versa.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed this. The picture suits this piece; setting a wonderful tone for the text. It would be nice if the words could be on the picture as well.

Keep writing!

Juniper

Hi bailecielo,

This is essentially an extended metaphor contained within a paragraph. The idea of emotion mirrored in the stripping of leaves from a tree/the changing of a season has been done many times before. You have even failed to demonstrate a different structure for this idea, however.

I would suggest trying to think of a new way of presenting and thinking about this idea.

Good luck.

that image is striking.
"Her woes whisper as silent as the wind, but howl loudly as old memories are awakened."
that was beautiful.

and so was this, "The heart is broken into a hundred falling leaves"
so poetic. that is a great line
those are the strongest points of the piece. i thought the whole thing was pretty strong and it makes the audience think. ambience.

its wonderful, but it could become breathtaking.

"They blow away all the leaves from the branches of happiness - from the tree of hope."
this seems a bit cliche.