storm

Hello Rach-Erin, welcome to the site! The rule here at YWS is to review two other pieces before you post any of your own, dear, and then to keep a 2:1 ratio of reviews to works posted. To make sure the site keeps running, y'know. If you're not sure how to review things, here are couple of articles that might help you out:

viewarticlebody.php?t=40950
viewarticlebody.php?t=18792

Okay, now onto your poem. I've noticed that you repeat this line a lot:

Theres a storm coming !

Grammatically, it should be

There's a storm coming!

with an apostrophe for 'there' and no space between the 'coming' and the exclamation point. Good, that's out of the way.

Now, you've got some really nice images stacked up here. The howling wind, the waves, the rain, etc. It definitely gives me a picture in my head, which is really good. The thing I don't like is the repetition of Theres a storm coming ! because all the images tell me that already; I don't need it to be shoved at me again four or five times, if that makes sense. See, consider this:

The wind howls and the wooden doors strain.
The waves roll and crash to the towering rocks.
Thunder bellows and lightening strikes.
We bolt the doors and screw down the windows.
Hiding in the basement, we huddle together.
The rain pounds the roof, the wind sways the walls.
The storm is here!

What I've done there is just cut out all the repetitive lines. Do you see how the images themselves convey the storm? So you don't need all that repetition which really only weighs down the poem. You could also only say it once or twice; I just think most of it's unnecessary.

Again, I love your imagery, and this is a great start that just needs some editing. Good luck.
-Mars

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