Heavy Metal (Heavy Metal)

The dark still has light,
It gives us a reason to fight,
Make hell go deeper then it was,
With the sound of our guitars!

Make all your enemies bare!
So put up your fists in the air!
Show them the mighty sign of heavy metal!
Scream louder then hell!
Make the wrong dwell!

They will fight us,
One to million,
But our fate gives our strength of a billion,
Make sure your fist well is strong in the air!

Make, your enemies feel the heavy metal,
Make sure that the drums will beat strong,
So the posers knew that their choice was wrong,
Make sure that your voice would be powerful!
To make us feel, with the strength unimaginable! (Stretched)


Make all your enemies bare!
So put up your fists in the air!
Show them the mighty sign of heavy metal!
Scream louder then hell!
Make the wrong dwell!

(Guitar solo)

On one late night I was walking home,
I past the hater’s zone,
A man stopped me saying that I was lost,
He said that I was loser and that heavy metal sucks,

I came closer to the punk!
I said to him that I was no sweet old monk!
The man tried to hit me,
But I got him on the ground!

Before he stood up he was thrown away,
By the roar of heavy metal!
(Cheer)
More than ten thousand brothers and sisters,
Stood up holding the sign of our religion!


Make all your enemies bare!
So put up your fists in the air!
Show them the mighty sign of heavy metal!
Scream louder then hell!
Make the wrong dwell!

Heavy metal! X3
Fight for heavy metal! X3

Pluck on the bass,
Our enemies will live in a big disgrace!
Make the blackness less demur!
You got nothing to fear, be proud!

(Drum Solo)

I want to say to the Metallica fans,
I want to scream to the Slipknot fans,
I want to play to the Black Sabbath fans,
I want to roar for the Manowar fans,
I want to yell for the Disturbed fans,
I want to shout to the Megadeath fans,
I want to say…

Heavy metal! X3
Fight for heavy metal! X3

Robert... There are thinks that you suck at... but writing songs is not one of them. You may not know how to play them, but you do know how to write them.
And I see that you didn't use the word "devil" once in this piece. Well done.

Now! Robert I have some news for you, you have been on this site for some time now... SO LEARN SOME GRAMMAR!

You still write than as "then", and many other words are written incorrectly, in many of your pieces. You've got to learn some grammar dude. Seriously.

now on with the review:

The dark still has light,
It gives us a reason to fight,
Make hell go deeper then it was,
With the sound of our guitars!

"Then" should be "than". And I think the last part slows the piece down. Doesn't really fit it. It rhymes yes... But it just doesn't sound right.

Make all your enemies bare!
So put up your fists in the air!
Show them the mighty sign of heavy metal!
Scream louder then hell!
Make the wrong dwell!

"Than"
And I think you should make this part a bit longer. One line maybe. This just sounds like it stops into a brick wall.

They will fight us,
One to million,
But our fate gives our strength to a billion,
Make sure your fist well is strong in the air!

"Gives our strength to a billion" ? or "gives us the strength of a billion"?

On one late night I was walking home,
I past the hater’s zone,
A man stopped me saying that I was lost,
He said that I was loser and (that) heavy metal sucks,

I came closer to the punk!
I said to him that I was no sweet old monk!
The man tried to hit me,
But I got him on the ground!

Before he stood up he was thrown away,
By the roar of heavy metal! [seriously Robert. Even Though the song's name is heavy metal it doesn't mean that you have to put it everywhere.]
(Cheer)
More than ten thousand brothers and sisters,
Stood up holding the sign of heavy metal![Like I said above]

I want to say to the Metallica fans,
I want to scream to the Slipknot fans,
I want to play to the Black Sabbath fans,
I want to roar for the Manowar fans,
I want yell for the Disturbed fans,
I want to shout to the Mega death fans,
I want to say…

This part feels inconsistent and doesn't fit the song... ditch it.

Otherwise a very good piece. Good work. See you on monday.

Yea thanks I did some of the corrections but I really want to leave the last part because I was kind of hoping for a little drum solo in that part, it would really sound good. Also I am really sick so there is a possibility I am not coming.

I support Disturbed, and I support Black Sabbath...good bands, those two. It's what I was raised on during high school.

With that said, for what it was about, the song is perfect as it is; being straightforward works in this case. So with that said, I must say that for a tribute song, this one is a good one. Just make sure you keep it in memory and not forget it like Tenacious D forgot theirs....

Hey there lordgluzman. Just to let you know that I have no idea as to how to review lyrics, so this critique might of be a little useless. Still, I'll give it a try.

Generally, your lyrics do a good job of showing the idea of how one expresses pride in their heavy metal (eg: the fists, fights and crude imagery and wording). My problem with the piece is that firstly, it doesn't show me why heavy metal's the bomb, and secondly, the lyrics do not work together to develop an idea further.

The song doesn't really help me understand as to why heavy metal is better than the other genres. It's just boasting about the genre. I personally would listen to heavy metal over rap, because heavy metal gives you a sense of power and dominance and how one uses this and the emotions associated with it through both language and aural techniques. Rap doesn't do it to the same extent and depth as heavy metal does in my opinion (not to mention it's often just a repeat of ideas that are around). I think you should focus on this more.

The "posers" idea caught my attention, but it's so lacking in detail that it was simply overpowered by the boasting in the lyrics. I'm curious to know as to what you think "posing" in heavy metal is. How does "posing" happen and what causes it? Express your thoughts on this more through your song. By doing that, not only will it add more depth to it, but it will make your song seem more defining and more intimidating (which is the effect you are intending with this).

Overall though, I think you did a pretty OK job since there is some empowerment in your lyrics, just not a whole lot of depth and angle to it.

Good luck.

Andy.