poem

At night I am

In the dark,

All alone with

My eyes closed,

with no one

there to save me

nor protect me.

i lay there sleeping,

seeing every soul

that i have killed

and every life that

i have shattered

and destroyed.

they chase after

me as i run and

they fly to get

there revenge

against me.

i am scared to

look back at them

as they continue

to get closer

and closer

to me, until

i have come to

a dead end in

wheich it is my

grave that i am

laying in.

It was good. but I did find a few mistakes. Like the way you never capitalized I. But it was obvious that you did that one on purpose so I don't know if it could be counted as a mistake. But anyways,

nor to protect me.

this way, it seems to flow better to me.

their revenge.

which it is my

Okay, other then those few mistakes, it was really good. I liked it. So keep up the good work!

thanks

When I first began reading your poem, I was really excited, and my expectations for the poem started to grow; however, as the piece progressed, I became frustrated with the lack of clarity in the plot. Of course, straightforward plot is not a requirement in poetry, but the frenzied structure of the plot confused me. I suggest that you revise the poem after the first sentence, and make the writing a bit more concise - "showing" more and "telling" less. And you should either capitalize "i" or make the reason why "i" isn't capitalized clearer to the reader because as of right now, it confuses me. Keep up the good work!